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Safe: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building More Secure Relationships

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A guide to fostering more security, intimacy, and peace in our relationships, and in ourselves, by the author of Anxiously Attached The topic of attachment theory has never been hotter. The hashtag attachmentstyle has appeared more than a billion times on social media—but going beyond simple types to uncover how you developed your unique attachment patterns and why you relate to others as you do is where the deepest insights can be revealed. In this empathic and practical guide, therapist Jessica Baum sheds light on the unprocessed attachment wounds that cause us to live in survival mode—and offers a roadmap for building safe relationships that can become the foundation for true healing. You’ll discover what fulfilling, joyful, secure love feels like and how to cultivate it using simple techniques that will help you move from “fight or flight” mode to a place of trust, fulfillment, and true closeness with the people you care about most. Drawing on the brain science behind why we tend to repeat old, painful patterns, therapist Jessica Baum shows you how to move toward relationships that provide the deeper connection, safety, and trust we all long for, in every area of our lives. Read more

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Tarcher


Publication date ‏ : ‎ October 28, 2025


Language ‏ : ‎ English


Print length ‏ : ‎ 304 pages


ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0593850815


ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 17


Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 14.7 ounces


Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.73 x 1.06 x 8.53 inches


Best Sellers Rank: #4,848 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #39 in Love & Romance (Books) #50 in Interpersonal Relations (Books) #62 in Self-Esteem (Books)


#39 in Love & Romance (Books):


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Top Amazon Reviews

    • If you have trouble with relationships trauma, this book is a must-read!
Format: Hardcover
Safe by Jessica Baum is one of the most transformative books I’ve ever picked up. It’s beautifully structured — each chapter builds on the last, guiding you through deep self-understanding and emotional healing. Jessica’s compassionate, trauma-informed approach makes complex attachment concepts feel practical and empowering. This book helped me connect the dots between my past wounds and my present relationship patterns in a way that finally made sense. It’s both validating and hopeful, filled with tangible steps to help you create more secure, fulfilling connections — with others and with yourself. If you’ve ever felt stuck in cycles of anxiety, avoidance, or overgiving, this book will meet you right where you are and show you a way forward. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on November 7, 2025 by Michelle Cohen
    • MUST READ FOR ANYONE WANTING TO UNDERSTAND ATTACHMENT and how to heal your wounds
Format: Hardcover
A must read, a deep understanding of attachment and how you form the patterns. Not just how they show up but how you developed them, and how we normally have more than one. This is more then just information this is a compassionate guide that helps you move into the parts work to heal. It's profound. Wheel of attachment is new and a better way to understand attachment patterns. You leave this book with the real science to becoming secure. I get it and it's a complicated process of internalizing your anchors and creating inner safety. Thank you JESSICA. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on November 21, 2025 by Amazon Customer
    • Heartfelt and Honest... A MUST READ if you want to build more secure, SAFE relationships!!!
Format: Hardcover
Jessica Baum’s book SAFE masterfully intertwines her deeply personal experiences with relationships and the rich, science-informed wisdom of healing and attachment. Through her storytelling and expertise, she guides readers toward understanding what it means to build truly secure, nourishing connections – with ourselves and with others. Thank you, Jessica, for your vulnerability and openness!! Truly. As I moved through the chapters of SAFE, I could feel the layers of your heart unfolding... your compassion, your insight, and your courage. Your willingness to share your own journey brings immense comfort and hope to those seeking clarity and healing in their own lives. I deeply appreciate you sharing your story and your knowledge with the world 💙. You are a light! And this book is a gift for anyone longing to feel seen, supported, and SAFE. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on November 23, 2025 by Danielle Zilg
    • A Gripping, Healing Mirror for Anyone Navigating Attachment Wounds
Format: Audiobook
I’m only partway through this book—and already, Jessica’s storytelling has cracked something open in me.

 Jessica’s writing held up a mirror I didn’t know I needed. I felt gripped, seen, and deeply understood in the ways she shares her journey with anxious/avoidant dynamics. I've been deep in a healing journey (and as a somatic coach, helping others heal and rewire their own attachment patterns) for a long time now. But there was something about the honesty and precision of her reflections that helped something click in me—a deeper understanding of my own patterns, my tenderness, and the complexity of the bond I’ve been unraveling.
 This book offers so much more than information; it offers medicine.

I’m walking away with more compassion for myself and others, and a larger, softer context for what this kind of relational rupture can invite us into.
 Jessica brings clarity, humility, vulnerability, truth, and healing in a way that feels both practical, grounded and soul-deep. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on December 1, 2025 by Beth Clayton
    • This book gave me tools I could actually use in my daily life!
Format: Hardcover
SAFE is the kind of book you do not just read. You experience it. Jessica takes complex neuroscience and attachment theory and makes it not only understandable but also useful in everyday life. I kept stopping to underline passages because they described emotional patterns I have struggled with for years. What I loved most is how empowering this book is. Instead of focusing on what is wrong, it shows you how to gently shift old relational patterns, reconnect to your body, and feel secure from the inside out. The tools are compassionate, grounded, and immediately helpful. Anyone who wants healthier relationships with themselves or others needs this book. It is that good. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on December 8, 2025 by Cassie
    • Such a wonderful read
Format: Hardcover
Reading this book felt like sitting down with someone who truly understands the ache of wanting love to feel easier and the fear of losing yourself when you finally find it. Jessica Baum has a gift for weaving science, compassion, and lived experience into something deeply human. This book helped me see my patterns not as flaws but as survival strategies that once protected me. It reminded me that safety in love is not something we earn by being perfect. Its something we learn to create from within and share with others. Every chapter felt like a gentle mirror and a soft landing. SAFE is not just a guide for relationships, it is a guide back to yourself. Highly recommend!! ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on November 1, 2025 by Andrea R.
    • A rare book that actually changes how you relate
Format: Hardcover
SAFE is one of those books that feels like it was written by someone who has actually lived the work, not just studied it. The author blends clinical depth with real human experience in a way that lands. It’s direct, compassionate, and practical. What stood out to me: she doesn’t just explain attachment theory, she gives you frameworks, stories, and somatic tools that make you feel the shift. The “Wheel of Attachment” alone is worth it - I literally saw my patterns, how they form, and what secure connection looks like in real life. If you’ve ever felt stuck repeating the same relationship dynamics, SAFE gives language, clarity, and a path forward. It’s science-backed, grounded, and surprisingly emotional in a way that stays with you. Highly recommend. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on November 5, 2025 by David
    • Thoughtful and Healing
Format: Hardcover
This book is so thoughtful and healing. It helped me understand attachment and my relationships in a much deeper compassionate way. Jessica Baum’s writing feels warm, clear, and supportive. A wonderful guide for anyone wanting to feel safer and more connected in love.
Reviewed in the United States on November 13, 2025 by Leonie Bryant

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