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If Love Could Kill: The Myths and Truths of Women Who Commit Violence

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A groundbreaking work by an internationally acclaimed forensic psychotherapist that looks at women who commit extreme acts of violence and cruelty and at the underlying oppression and abuse often at the heart of these crimes Women can be murderers and child abusers. They can commit acts of extreme and sadistic brutality. And those who do, are outcasts from society and from womanhood itself. They are seen as monsters and angels of death: and must be kept at a safe distance. Anna Motz is a renowned clinical and forensic psychologist in London and New York. Writing with candor, compassion, and a clear-eyed perspective, she explores in depth the shockingly underexamined psychological underpinnings of female violence. Far from the heartless and inhuman monsters we might believe them to be, these women are often victims of a culture of violence and emotional trauma. Already hailed as a landmark, Motz's daring book, bursting with humanity, makes clear that women’s violence is more widespread than most realize, that these acts of violence expose deeply held, centuries-old beliefs about women and their value, and that these acts demand to be taken more seriously as a distinctive societal taboo that can—and must—be brought into the light. Read more

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Knopf (February 6, 2024)


Language ‏ : ‎ English


Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 272 pages


ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0593534158


ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 51


Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.14 pounds


Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.42 x 1.08 x 9.56 inches


Best Sellers Rank: #160,933 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #317 in Medical Social Psychology & Interactions #497 in Popular Social Psychology & Interactions #1,074 in Women's Studies (Books)


#317 in Medical Social Psychology & Interactions:


#497 in Popular Social Psychology & Interactions:


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Top Amazon Reviews

    • Violent women and how they got that way
If you’re interested in psychology, this is a book you should read. I’m not particularly interested in the field, but I am interested in the criminal “justice” system and how people end up there. I’m not quite sure why this was titled If Love Could Kill. This was about violent women and how they got that way, and it usually began with NOT being loved or cared for as children. A very common theme was sexual abuse when they were young by someone who should have been caring for them—a father, stepfather, uncle, or cousin. Often they didn’t tell anyone because of shame or the abuser would threaten them with killing them or family members. But if they were brave enough to tell someone and then weren’t believed, this compounded the feeling that there was no one looking out for them. In this book it’s a mother or other person in charge, but I think of all the cops over the years not doing anything with rape kits and screaming at victims that they were lying. Motz worked in the U.K. for many years, and she hides the identity of her patients. While she does mention a few names that might ring a bell to Americans (Susan Smith), that’s not the focus of this book. Instead, each chapter focuses on a woman and what made her end up in Motz’s office. Motz worked at prisons for much of her career as a forensic psychotherapist, so these women might have gotten to her before going to court to see if they could retain custody of their children and so on. Another common theme was that these women, who did not have good parenting as a guide to follow, would get pregnant and might initially feel like now they’d have someone to love and would love them back at long last, but then often felt instead like an alien was taking over their body and then would get mired in postpartum depression, having no one to help with the day-to-day demands of a child who needed constant attention. These women were already battling PTSD, depression, and other mental issues, and now a child was endangered (lots of these women were self-harming—I learned a lot about that in this book—and/or already physically harming others). I wish the forced birthers cared at all about women and how not all women should be forced to go through the pain and other potential serious issues of pregnancy, both physical and mental. Also, these women’s partners sometimes became abusive for the first time during late-stage pregnancy, making the woman feel trapped to stick with a man who battered her. There was a chapter on a woman who sexually abused children, and I didn’t think I’d be able to get through it, but I’m glad I did. I think of myself as someone who doesn’t give in to the myths of motherhood and intrinsic maternal instincts, but this chapter made me realize I do still cling to certain myths of what it means to be a woman. I learned a lot from this book. Recommend. NetGalley provided an advance copy of this nonfiction book. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on February 6, 2024 by Theresa Alan
    • Interesting case studies
A collection of 10 case studies of women who committed violent acts. As someone who is always fascinated by human behavior, I thought it would be an interesting read, and it was. It provides insight into why some women behave in violent and seemingly irrational ways. Sometimes it feels as if you delving into assigned reading for an abnormal psychology course, but, the women and their motivations are always interesting. Thank you to NetGalley, Knopf, Pantheon, Vintage, and Anchor, Knopf, and Anna Motz for the eARC ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on March 6, 2024 by BookLover74
    • Thought provoking stories
Written by a forensic psychotherapist, “If Love Could Kill” is about some of the author’s female patients who have committed egregious crimes and/or inflicted violence, even to children. Anna Motz explores the reasons behind the criminality and whether or not these women can survive outside of institutions in their future. We, as a culture, tend to believe that violence is caused only by psychopaths or sociopaths, but often these acts of violence are due to one’s upbringing or even based on a mode of self preservation. Ms. Motz draws on her expertise to engage in a meaningful way with her patients and often breaks through to the good person inside each of them. The story of each woman is unique, compelling and thought-provoking. We need more psychotherapists, doctors and other medical personnel to take an interest in this field of work and bring it to the forefront of forensics. Excellent book. I highly recommend this along with a trigger warning of violence, child abuse and sexual abuse. Thank you, NetGalley and Knopf, Pantheon, Vintage and Anchor for the advanced copy. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on February 6, 2024 by Lisa G
    • Finally some understanding.
Thank you so much! I was badly abused by my mother and sister. But there was little relief from it, because they were women. Then, of course, I chose a wife, who was much like them. However, she was over-the-top violent and abusive towards me and the children. We both tried to keep up appearances in front of others. When I was away for work for an extended period of time, some friends, who knew her, told me about what they had witnessed, when I was out of the house, and that I wasn't fooling anyone about how badly I was being physically and mentally abused. I broke away from her about eight years ago. It is so wonderful to live without her terror. It's like I am starting life for the first time. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on March 11, 2024 by Eddie
    • True Crime’s Guide to women who kill! Very Good!
This is such an eye opening and interesting read about the criminal justice system's care of and the psychology behind female violent offenders. If you love true crime stories and forensic psychology, think in the vein of Mindhunter, I would highly recommend this! Each chapter focuses on a different case study blending factual and narrative styles to draw you into the psychology of each woman's story completely while still providing scientific and medical context. All of the chapters are engaging, disturbing and distressing despite the case study format. I never lost sight of the fact that these are actual women offenders housed in prisons and all of them did something horrific to land themselves in their situations. The author worked in the U.K. for many years, and hides most of the identities, except for a few of the more notorious offenders that you can guess, as the identity is not the focus of the book but the forensic psychology behind the offender. Each of these women ended up in Motz's office and these are her case notes, as she worked at prisons for most of her career as a forensic psychotherapist. This is such a thought-provoking and engaging read. If your a true crime junkie like myself, you will love it! ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on February 11, 2024 by Lori P

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