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Berrett-Koehler Publishers

The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict

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Publisher : Berrett-Koehler Publishers; 2nd edition (July 13, 2015)


Language : English


Paperback : 288 pages


ISBN-10 : 1626564310


ISBN-13 : 12


Item Weight : 0.035 ounces


Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.73 x 8.5 inches


Best Sellers Rank: #66,346 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #18 in War & Peace (Books) #54 in Business Conflict Resolution & Mediation (Books) #246 in Conflict Management


#18 in War & Peace (Books):


#54 in Business Conflict Resolution & Mediation (Books):


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Top Amazon Reviews

    • Useful in general but deceptive arguments about racial tensions by hiding behind an "Insititute"
I think that the authors need to be more transparent about who they are. My finding is that the authors of this book are most likely conservative white Mormon men. I was mostly liking this book. But towards the end, I felt really uncomfortable with the discussion about race and decided to do more research on who the authors are. This was what the ideas about Black Panther protests came across like to me: "Black protestors and selfish/bad because they are not peaceful and accepting their oppressions. They have their heart at war. They are making life so much harder for white people. and do not think about it. And so even if the black protestors are the ones being beaten and tear-gassed, because they are not accepting their oppression in peace, they might as well be tear-gassing the white people/police." But the authors say this through the character of a Black professor. The authors are trying the deceptively insert a manufactured "credible-seeming" lone black perspective to seemingly vilify black protests against racism. "The one black person who is better than the rest of the black people since he has similar opinions to white people. And every black person should think like him". How do the authors know if every person in the protests had their hearts at war and not just doing "what needed to be done"? Aren't the authors showing that they are themselves in the box towards black protestors by stereotyping them and not seeing their human needs? So while I think that many of the ideas in this book are useful, there seems to be a conservative agenda hidden as well that goes against the overall message of this book. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on April 22, 2021 by Coolcalcium
    • This is one of the best books I have ever read
This is one of the best books I have ever read. Some books I read are entertaining, some are inspiring, some are educational, and some are life changing. This book has been life changing for me. I have purchased several copies that I have given as Christmas presents and plan to give some as wedding gifts as well. Some of my favorite quotes are: "We can treat our children fairly but if our hearts are warring toward them while we’re doing it, they won’t think they’re being treated fairly at all....As important as behavior is most problems at home, at work, and in the world are not failures of strategy but failures of way of being." "We first need to find our way out of the internal wars that are poisoning our thoughts, feelings, and attitudes toward others. If we can’t put an end to the violence within us, there is no hope for putting an end to the violence without." "And we have seen how one warring heart invites more "object seeing" and warring in others."...."No one can force a warring heart upon us. When our hearts go to war, we ourselves have chosen it." "Because when I betray myself I create within myself a new need-a need that causes me to see others accusingly, a need that causes me to care about something other than truth and solutions, and a need that invites others to do the same in response." "As painful as it is to receive contempt from another, it is more debilitating by far to be filled with contempt for another." "A heart at war needs enemies to justify its warring. It needs enemies and mistreatment more than it wants peace." "Whenever we need to be justified, anything that will give us justification will immediately take on exaggerated importance in our life. Self betrayal corrupts everything-even the value we place on things." "the more sure I am that I’m right, the more likely I will actually be mistaken. My need to be right makes it more likely that I will be wrong! Likewise, the more sure I am that I am mistreated, the more likely I am to miss ways that I am mistreating others myself." "Difficult people are nevertheless people, and it always remains in my power to see them that way." "Everyone I hated was always with me, even when I was alone. They had to be, for I had to remember what and why I hated in order to remind myself to stay away from them." "It isn’t so much what you did as what you invited." "Because most who are trying to put an end to injustice only think of the injustices they believe they themselves have suffered. Which means that they are concerned not really with injustice but with themselves. They hide their focus on themselves behind the righteousness of their outward cause." "It is not the sense of what to do but the desire to do it that’s at issue...When we have recovered those sensibilities towards others, we must act on them." "You have the biggest influence in your children’s lives, so if we want to be a positive influence with your children we better have strong relationships with you." "If we don’t get our hearts right, our strategies won’t matter. Once we get our hearts right, however, outward strategies matter a lot." "Our passions, beliefs, and needs do not divide but unite: it is by virtue of our own passions, beliefs, and needs that we can see and understand others’. If we have beliefs we cherish, then we know how important others’ beliefs must be to them." ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on January 7, 2017 by D. Davies
    • The Core of Interpersonal Conflict is our View of Others
I love the message in this book and in the other books by The Arbinger Institute ("Leadership and Self-Deception" and "The Outward Mindset"). However, I think this one is the best of those books. I regularly give copies of this book to friends, family, and coworkers. I also review it every year or two to refresh my skills at identifying when I am viewing other people as objects instead of people. By making sure that I see people as people I have been able drastically improve my relationships at work, at home, and elsewhere in the world. With those improved relationships, I find that I am happier, more productive, more helpful, more forgiving, and less bothered by the large or the small events in my life as well as society at large. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on December 28, 2019 by Richard Arthur
    • Story form helped me understand the concepts of this book better.
This book is very relevant for today’s environment regarding race relations and how to view and get along with other people. It uses a story form, which I liked much better than a straight instructional platform. It does provide diagrams and methods for how to treat people as people and not objects. The premise is we spend way too much time correcting/disciplining rather than trying to do things to ensure our relationships work. If we spent more time on that, we would not have to spend so much time fixing things or correcting things, especially in the case of child rearing. The biggest thing I got out of this book is to avoid treating people as objects and how to do that. It helped me understand how I was doing that and how to fix it, all the while telling me how in story form. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on September 4, 2020 by Gail McVey
    • I wish everyone would read this book.
I read Leadership and Self Deception' a few years ago. It was very good. I have been angry lately. I, like many other people, have been drawn into the ongoing angry bickering that is internet political 'discussion.' I read this book in an afternoon, and I immediately noticed a change. All the same inflammatory rhetoric is still being posted online, but it no longer provokes feelings of anger in me or a need to immediately fire back. I wish everyone on both sides of the political spectrum would take the time to read The Anatomy of Peace and take it to heart. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on February 24, 2017 by Cat09tails

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