So, it appears that for some people, this thing comes out of the box, ready for some intense, guaranteed-multiple-orgasm action. In light of all that, I was interested and hopeful, but also a little cautious, especially given the frankly kind of weird mechanism. It just... blows air at you? Okaaaaay.
So I Googled, and while a majority of users were enthusiastic, a handful landed firmly in “it HURTS, and it’s TERRIBLE,” or “I seriously feel nothing, what the hell” territory, and most of those reported no change in their feelings about it, even with repeated use/experimentation. I’m usually pretty easy to turn on, and it’s only fifty bucks, so—I figured, what the heck. And I was in the “this feels like nothing; nudge it up one level... ok, I guess I feel something, sort of; nudge it up, again... OW, WTF, DID IT JUST BITE ME?!” camp, but now I’m a fan. So I’d like to offer a slightly more nuanced positive review, in case you’re one of the minority of users who doesn’t rave about this thing after your first five minutes with it. First of all: it does not feel like oral sex. I see why some users draw that parallel—more on that, in a moment—but at least on my nerve endings? Nah, not the same. It doesn’t feel like suction, at all (which makes sense, because it literally isn’t). It, in fact, feels a lot like a tiny machine that’s blowing little puffs of air at your bits, extremely fast and hard. As you might expect, it’s a weird sensation. Like—first-time-using-a-vibrator, weird; maybe even first-time-getting-yourself-off, or like... first-time-doing-anything-insertive-level, weird. So that’s going to be a little bit of a distraction, and—IMO—you’ll be well-advised to have a back-up device or other modality on-hand, especially the first time or two that you use it. Also—this, I think, is where the oral sex analogy comes in—it isn’t thuddy. Isn’t buzzy, isn’t vibrate-y, at all. It is more focused on the IMMEDIATE area where you aim it than any other toy I have encountered, even if all you usually use is the very tip of a lightweight bullet vibe. If you’re more of a Hitachi person (as I am)? Forget about it. This is not the same sensation as that, at all. On to issue number 2, “IT BIT ME.” The intensity on this thing jumps up ABRUPTLY, from level two, to anything above it. It also seems to have an odd shift from fairly even stimulation, to like... some variability in the intensity of tiny air puffs. Once you nudge it up to like... 6 or 7, it seems to even out, again. The particularly intense little air-bullets were the ones that felt like it had suddenly grown teeth, and they were... well. Not pleasant. But I’m a Hitachi person, so level 2 was also not going to do a SINGLE useful thing for me, besides roll my eyes and plug in Old Buzzy Faithful. Ymmv and, of course, if your anatomy tells you something different, you should listen to it. What worked for me, after my first sojourn up the levels of intensity left me a little gun-shy, was: place the opening higher up than intended, so that we’re not ALL the way down at the head of my sensitive bits, and they’ve got the extra skin still covering them (sorry, I have no idea how explicit Amazon will allow me to be, so I’m doing my best to be clear, but, well. Anatomical language.) Once a particular setting seemed reasonably comfortable, I eeeeeeeased it down to the position the instructions recommended. Once that seemed like I had maxed out the amount of enjoyment I would get from it, I repeated the process. My first few rounds of this were... tolerable, but not mind-blowing. Having established that I was not going to damage myself, and given my body a chance to adjust to such weirdly narrowly focused stimulation, I eventually gave it a shot without shuffling its position around so much, just—starting as directed, but dialed ALL the way down; and then resisting my deeply ingrained tendency to skip upward two or three levels at a time. One at a time. Wait till you’re getting as much from it as you’re going to. ALSO give your brain space to crack up about how weird this feels, and how totally detached it is from anything sexy you’ve ever done, and how bizarre it is for your body to respond to something that feels so wildly unlike what it’s meant to do. Repeat. SLOWLY. ...and THAT actually did a thing for me. That actually did a very intense and enjoyable thing for me. Tl;dr: it’s WEIRD, and it’s advisable to take it very slowly, even if intense sensation is usually comfortable for you. Let it be weird; give your body some time to adjust. If it’s kind of terrible, the first time or two... maybe put it away and circle back, when you’re feeling more experimental. You’ll probably love it, and all of this will probably be unnecessary, given the overall positive skew of these reviews. But—if, at first, you don’t succeed... don’t assume you just burned fifty bucks, YET. Also. It is SUPER-quiet, especially if you’re used to something like a Hitachi. It’s meaningfully louder if you pull it away from your body, and the sudden shift from near-silence is a little jarring, but—I tried just switching it on, turned all the way up, to gauge it in more absolute terms, and like. Even at its loudest, I don’t think someone would notice it through a door, and it’s not an especially recognizable sound, even if they did.
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