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Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides)

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5,000,000 COPIES SOLD WORLDWIDE • TRANSLATED IN MORE THAN 35 LANGUAGES What is Violent Communication? If “violent” means acting in ways that result in hurt or harm, then much of how we communicate—judging others, bullying, having racial bias, blaming, finger pointing, discriminating, speaking without listening, criticizing others or ourselves, name-calling, reacting when angry, using political rhetoric, being defensive or judging who’s “good/bad” or what’s “right/wrong” with people—could indeed be called “violent communication.” What is Nonviolent Communication? Nonviolent Communication is the integration of four things: • Consciousness: a set of principles that support living a life of compassion, collaboration, courage, and authenticity • Language: understanding how words contribute to connection or distance • Communication: knowing how to ask for what we want, how to hear others even in disagreement, and how to move toward solutions that work for all • Means of influence: sharing “power with others” rather than using “power over others” Nonviolent Communication serves our desire to do three things: • Increase our ability to live with choice, meaning, and connection • Connect empathically with self and others to have more satisfying relationships • Sharing of resources so everyone is able to benefit Read more

Publisher ‏ : ‎ PuddleDancer Press; Third Edition, Third edition (September 1, 2015)


Language ‏ : ‎ English


Paperback ‏ : ‎ 264 pages


ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 189200528X


ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 81


Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 15.2 ounces


Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.7 x 9 inches


Best Sellers Rank: #1,597 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #11 in Interpersonal Relations (Books) #49 in Personal Transformation Self-Help #62 in Psychology & Counseling


#11 in Interpersonal Relations (Books):


#49 in Personal Transformation Self-Help:


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Top Amazon Reviews


  • This is a must-read for everyone!
Basic communication concepts that should be taught at an early age. Very well written and is the gold standard for every day use. Forwarded by Deepak Chopra, Dr. Rosenberg is a master at his communication concepts and respect to all parties.
Reviewed in the United States on August 31, 2024 by Phil Westmoreland

  • Please, for the sake of humanity, read this book
I first want to indicate that the five stars I am awarding this book is not because everything was perfect. There are a lot of issues I have with how the chapters are ordered, the flow of the book, etc, but the content of this book is so helpful and necessary to humans that it certainly compensates for the other faults of the book. A weirdly titled book, sure, but a necessary read nonetheless. Essentially, humans don’t do a very good job at communicating with each other. The author suspects this is due to some communication patterned that came to exist when their were kings and servants, but regardless of where it came from, it certainly exists now. Have you every felt attacked when someone said something? Have you ever reacted to a statement instead of actually contemplating it. This book is able to teach us why we act the way we do and how to better communicate our feelings, wants, and needs all in a couple sentences. When we say “I feel...” “I think...” generally these are not expressing our feelings, but rather some thought. For example, “I feel like a lazy slob today”. That isn’t a feeling. That’s an interpretation of the situation we are in through our own mental prism. What we should say is “I feel discouraged from working due to the topic of the work I am working on.” Expressing what we are feeling helps us to figure out what we really need (so that when we talk to someone for advice/help, we can more effectively obtain that assistance). The breakdown of the method is as follows: 1) Determine what we are observing; 2) Determine what we are feeling; 3) Determine what we are needing; 4) Determine what we would like to request in order to fulfill that need. If we can follow these simple steps as humans, the constant complaining and miscommunication that constantly occurs between us would dramatically decrease (not go away completely of course). Our inabilities to determine what we are actually feeling and most importantly, to express that to whoever we ware talking to (and feel relatively comfortable doing so) is what really hinders us as humans. One way to get better at communicating is to sit back and think about what we are feeling an to express that to others. Don’t just react to what someone says, but rather say what their statements/words made you feel. To advance your progress, try to get other people to express what they are feeling. Try to guess at their thoughts (if you guess wrong that is okay, they will likely correct you and lead you in the right direction). For example, if someone says to you “I can’t believe the weather person got the predictions wrong again! This is crazy!”. You could easily reply with “It sounds like you’re upset that the predictions weren’t correct.” The person might continue on and get to why they are really expressing their thoughts (perhaps because they really wanted to go for a walk with a family member that day but it had to be canceled due to the poor weather). This is all about receiving someone’s words empathically. Listening for feelings and trying to guess at them could really help you and the other person out in terms of effectively communicating with one another. Overall, this is a fantastic book. A book that I wish was mandated in schools, in businesses, etc. I promise you will pull out something useful from this book and subconsciously start employing some of the information you learned. And if you can diligently practice what it teaches, that would be even better. Words are the easiest way for people to hurt one another and to cause problems. If we can better communicate to achieve the desirable outcome for both parties involved, then that would lead to a more satisfying and happy life. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on November 13, 2020 by Amazon Customer

  • Educational
Easy to read, understand and implement communication strategies.
Reviewed in the United States on September 13, 2024 by Amazon Customer

  • I can't believe I'm saying this, but...
This book is legitimately life changing. I first checked this book out at the library, however I found myself really needing to take time as I read it. The beginning is about learning to identify your own needs and verbalize what you really mean. I didn't realize the extent I wasn't doing that. (This is about the book, but it's also something I really wish university students and their parents knew) For example, it talks about taking responsibility for what you're doing and it used grading papers as an example. When I was a prof at a university, if I could have I would have done away with grades. They are a better reflection of the skills a student enters a course with than how they performed in the course. Students who already knew the material from more advanced courses would get As with minimal effort, while students who were actually L E A R N I N G would get lower grades because their work at the beginning was weak. But putting grades at just the end of the course stress them out. Ultimately what makes far more sense for learning and preparing students for work is a pass/fail system. But that's not what the schools want. So I would assign grades because the school made me assign them. ... Until I read that example in the book. The school never forced me to do it. I did it, but I did it because I would loose my job in other words. That's the example in the book. A teacher needing to say, "I assign grades because I want to keep my job." It puts the responsibility on the teacher but also explains that the consequences that were set up by forces outside her control. So, I tried to internalize it. "I assign grades because I want to keep my job." That when it finally, really sunk in that while I love teaching I hated teaching as an occupation. I don't want to spend all my time assigning grades to essays clearly written just before the deadline and with no real consideration or thought. I hated it for myself and then. But I "had" to do it. By stating "I assign grades because I want to keep my job" it became clear that I wasn't there to teach students and have a lasting positive impact on them, I was there to serve the university's need to make money. I don't blame them. Funding on a federal level was cut and supposed to be reinstated by now but it never was, so universities simply CANNOT function as they were intended to. And the increasing price of colleges and universities? That mostly goes to administration and other non-academic areas. It's not going to the professors. So I realized I should quit a job I hate for a job that I might still hate but pays me triple what the school did. The change has significantly eased my depression in a way medication, therapy, life style changes, diet, yoga, mediation, and exercise never could. It's not even a small exaggeration that it changed my life. And that. That was JUST the first few chapters of this book. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on March 25, 2021 by Bee

  • Better than expected
Expected it to be pretty basic but pretty useful. Helps in the office
Reviewed in the United States on September 21, 2024 by Rachit

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