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Thomas Nelson

It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered

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Description

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLERFind hope and assurance in God's faithfulness when it feels like your world is crumbling.New York Times bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst invites you into her own journey, amid heart-shattering circumstances, and shows you how to live assured when life doesn't turn out how you expected.What do you do when God's timing seems questionable, His lack of intervention hurtful, and His promises doubtful?Life often looks so very different than we hoped or expected. Some events may simply catch us off guard for a moment, but others shatter us completely. We feel disappointed and disillusioned, and we quietly start to wonder about the reality of God's goodness. Lysa TerKeurst understands this deeply. But she's also discovered that our disappointments can be the divine appointments our souls need to radically encounter God.In It's Not Supposed to Be This Way, Lysa invites you into her own journey of faith and, with grit, vulnerability, and honest humor, helps you to see your life in the context of God's bigger story. Whether you're dealing with daily disappointments or life-altering loss, you can find unexpected strength as you learn what it means to wrestle well between your faith and your feelings. With refreshing honesty and deep encouragement, Lysa will help you to:Stop being pulled into the anxiety of disappointment by discovering how to better process unmet expectations and other painful situations.Train yourself to recognize the three strategies of the enemy so you can stand strong and persevere through unsettling relationships and uncertain outcomes.Discover the secret of being steadfast and not panicking when God actually does give you more than you can handle.Shift your suspicion that God is cruel or unfair to the biblical assurance that God is protecting and preparing you.Know how to encourage a friend and help her navigate hard realities with real help from God's truth.Disappointments are an inevitable part of life, but they don't have to be the end of the story. In fact, they are often what must happen for something new to begin. It's Not Supposed to Be This Way, offers you a safe guide, fresh biblical insight, and a reorienting perspective to help you rediscover God's faithfulness and renew your strength when it feels like the world is crumbling all around you. Read more

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Thomas Nelson


Publication date ‏ : ‎ November 13, 2018


Language ‏ : ‎ English


Print length ‏ : ‎ 256 pages


ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0718039858


ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 51


Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 15.5 ounces


Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.75 x 0.91 x 8.65 inches


Best Sellers Rank: #3,617 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #3 in Divorce (Books) #11 in Love & Loss #15 in Christian Family & Relationships


#3 in Divorce (Books):


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Top Amazon Reviews

    • His Way of Leading Us Home
Format: Kindle
This is one of the best Christian non-fiction / inspirational books I have studied this year! Lysa TerKeurst is a Christian woman, wife, mom, ministry leader, book and Bible study author who found herself in three major life crises in a short time. The situations highlighted in this book to show the power and love of God when we endure similar – or entirely different – circumstances that just weren’t supposed to happen. Circumstances that He can and does use for our good. The author takes us through her feelings and faith challenges she experienced as a result of those situations, and how she wrestled through with scripture, prayer, and reliance on the Lord. Her vulnerability is refreshing, her wisdom inspired by the Lord. “Disappointment isn’t proof that God is withholding good from us. Sometimes it’s His way of leading us home.” (pg. 5) Lysa doesn’t mince words. She does not minimize the Lord in any way, rather, He is everything! She is honest, showing that bad things do happen to Christians even while believing that God is good. She writes in a manner that someone who has been a Christian for any length of time, whether new or seasoned, can grasp when in the midst of a trauma. There are stories of people from scripture, and parts of her own life. The wisdom imparted comes from serious wrestling in a walk with God through painful disappointments. I could see myself in some of her feelings and reactions – not in circumstances like she was experiencing, but things going on in my own life. It isn’t the situations that are front and center, it is how we can learn to respond despite times that simply weren’t what that should have been. Those responses may sound overly simple to those not going through a trauma but are profound to the person who is trying to put one foot in front of the other for one more day. There are two ways we can get through – with God, or giving in to our flawed desires. One quote that is important is “We must set our minds and our hearts on things above by choosing to remember God’s words, repeat God’s words, and believe God’s word about us.” (pg. 65) I listened to the audiobook and read the print copy while doing the associated Bible study (and purchased the e-book), and I feel it is a valuable resource to the person going through struggles or the friend of someone struggling through hard times. Don’t compare the author’s situations to yours; instead, compare your reactions, feelings, and responses. I very much like the writer’s approach to seeking God, wrestling, praying, and getting into scripture. Our responses in times of crisis are vital to how we live our lives from those times forward. Regarding the audiobook, it is read by the author. I felt in many ways as if we were sitting in her kitchen over coffee or tea from the writing style and simply hearing her word sin her voice. Why did I get three formats? Because some things I learn better by repetitive hearing. Other times it is easier to open the book and search for the relevant pages, including chapter endings of “Going to the Well”, “Receive (a scripture)”, “Reflect”, and prayer. Back sections include scripture and helps for situations. I highly recommend this unique and timely book to Christians who are going through trauma of any kind and want to know that God is still in control and appreciate solid biblical teaching. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on November 21, 2019 by Jeanie D
    • Truth and tenderness for seasons of unexpected pain
Format: Hardcover
Review Image by V. Claire Milam
It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way is a deeply honest and beautifully written reflection on hope, loss, and the tension between expectation and reality. Lisa TerKeurst approaches hard experiences with vulnerability and insight, offering both personal stories and spiritual encouragement for those seasons when life hurts in ways we never anticipated. Reading this as someone who has walked through grief, unmet hopes, and learning to trust again, I found this book both validating and healing. It doesn’t offer quick answers—but it does gently point toward resilience, presence, and a God who holds us in the messy middle. This book is for anyone stuck between what life should be and what it is. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2026 by V. Claire Milam
    • I would buy it for you-
Format: Hardcover
Recommended by A.I. while seeking an answer. Glad it did, and now recommending to you. Please read it. You will look at things so different.
Reviewed in the United States on September 17, 2026 by Grandma
    • Great book
Format: Hardcover
Very.good.book! I read it in a week’s time and will read it again. Highly recommend.
Reviewed in the United States on September 13, 2026 by Anne
    • SPOKE TO MY SOUL
Format: Hardcover
I just finished this book after starting it on February 22nd, 2021. I am in awe about how touched I was by this book. Going through a rough season currently, I was merely searching for books to occupy my time with. I stumbled upon this not knowing anything about this author Lysa TerKeurst. I felt like examples she has shown on this book, getting into details, was her putting the hurt, feelings, emotions, and everything from my soul onto the pages itself. We aren't even going through the same season or circumstances of hurt, but it still touched me in every aspect. I was taking photo after photo of page after page and sending it to some of my friends. Either as encouragement or to emphasize how it was SPEAKING TO ME. It's unbelievable. I even met up with a friend last night after reading the book and although I have the tendency to not want to share books due to them being returned in terrible condition or lost... I felt THE URGE the share the book with my friend immediately. Lysa really shifted my perspectives on how to see struggle and pain. The way she ends her chapters are extremely helpful because they legitimately re-iterate EVERYTHING I was trying to keep a mental note of when I was reading through them. In addition, they have bible verses to look back at, as well as legitimate questions that we should ask ourselves. She encourages us not to think on the surface level of our feelings and situations. I was so encouraged reading this book and I highly, highly, highly recommend anyone to read it—with an open mind! Don't think about how you cannot relate to her situation of divorce (as I am not even married myself!) but know that it doesn't matter what place of hurt you came from, you are not alone. And your pain does not have to define you. I shared the same feeling she had about my experience molding me into a more compassionate person and wanting to help anyone I can, knowing the hurt they may be feeling. The way she ends the book with the dialogue also had me in tears feeling like what was written was about me. I'll buy this book as many times for as many people if need be. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on March 4, 2021 by ERIKA
    • Encouraging, but best with study guide and video series
Format: Hardcover
I bought this book after watching Lysa preach her "Life Between Two Gardens" message at Elevation Church; my life group is actually doing it as a study right now. There are some thought-provoking nuggets of wisdom in this book, it's very easy reading, and the the chapter-end quotes, scripture, and prayer are helpful and tidy. It's even better done with the study guide and video series. Lysa speaks in a very relatable, true, and honest way, and there's a lot here to encourage people on their walk. I wanted to give this 5 stars, but I took one away because there are times, in my opinion, that the book veers away from authenticity to cliche. I'm not sure I would get enough out of this book on its own to buy it as a stand-alone personal study, Lysa's true voice, earned wisdom and gifted teaching comes through best in the accompanying video series, and that's where the real value lies. If your church buys the video series, I 100% recommend buying and reading this book. Without the study guide and videos, it falls a little short to my mind, but your mileage may vary. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on November 4, 2019 by S. Olson
    • Purchased as a gift
Format: Hardcover
This was a gift for a "secret sister" in a Facebook group. She loved it!
Reviewed in the United States on September 11, 2026 by Angela Colvin
    • Helpful
Format: Hardcover
Great
Reviewed in the United States on August 1, 2026 by Karen Sanders

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