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How Should a Person Be?: A Novel from Life

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Description

Chosen as one of fifteen remarkable books by women that are shaping the way we read and write in the 21st century by the book critics of The New York Times. Named a Book of the Year by The New York Times Book Review, The New Yorker, San Francisco Chronicle, Salon, Flavorpill, The New Republic, The New York Observer, The Huffington Post. "Funny . . . odd, original, and nearly unclassifiable . . . unlike any novel I can think of." ―David Haglund, The New York Times Book Review "Brutally honest and stylistically inventive, cerebral, and sexy." ―San Francisco Chronicle By turns loved and reviled upon its U.S. publication, Sheila Heti's "breakthrough novel" (Chris Kraus, Los Angeles Review of Books) is an unabashedly honest and hilarious tour through the unknowable pieces of one woman's heart and mind. Part literary novel, part self-help manual, and part vivid exploration of the artistic and sexual impulse, How Should a Person Be? earned Heti comparisons to Henry Miller, Joan Didion, Mary McCarthy, and Flaubert, while shocking and exciting readers with its raw, urgent depiction of female friendship and of the shape of our lives now. Irreverent, brilliant, and completely original, Heti challenges, questions, frustrates, and entertains in equal measure. With urgency and candor she asks: What is the most noble way to love? What kind of person should you be? Read more

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Picador


Publication date ‏ : ‎ June 25, 2013


Edition ‏ : ‎ Reprint


Language ‏ : ‎ English


Print length ‏ : ‎ 320 pages


ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 125003244X


ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 47


Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds


Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.35 x 0.8 x 8.2 inches


Best Sellers Rank: #90,961 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #1,785 in Friendship Fiction (Books) #2,100 in Women's Friendship Fiction #4,535 in Contemporary Women Fiction


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Top Amazon Reviews


  • Fantastic Book
Format: Hardcover
Sheila explores her title question to such honest lengths that one cannot help but sympathize and root for her quest. The characters are alive with personality and voice that functions more like hearing an actual conversation with a friend rather than reading some constructed conversation from a narrator's mind. That may be because they were real and in that reality we can see the insecurity and uncertainty we always face, but never admit. The idea being everyone acts normal, so we all feel alone in our awkwardness. As we see her explore and struggle against how to be a person, we too can relate and struggle so that in the end we can experience the truth that she experiences. As she learns to be a person, we too can learn to be a person. A true Bildungsroman, but intended for adults, to cope with society, the relationships there-in, and what it means to be human among all that confusion. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on March 12, 2013 by Faye

  • An Interesting Structure, but a Lacking Narrative
Format: Paperback
Part memoir, part stream of consciousness, How Should a Person Be? Avoids classification as a traditional narrative. With its title, the novel is satirically set up as a self-help book, but instead is comprised of vignettes and snapshots of author Sheila Heti’s life and her struggles with her concept of personhood. The story itself is generally unfocused, which seems intentional until the ending. The interesting aspect of this novel comes from its untraditional structure and formatting. Some scenes are written in traditional prose, others are depicted like dialogue in a play, and some are informal text like the body of an email. As stated, the narrative is lacking, due in part to the style of writing. Stream of consciousness novels like On the Road meander narratively, but ultimately come together to form a cohesive, retrospective vision where the reader realizes that the journey was the destination. How Should a Person Be? seems to be trying to have it both ways. The majority of the novel is composed of disparate vignettes and eclectic introspections, until suddenly the various plot threads are rushed to an undeserved conclusion. Despite these complaints, the text itself is well-written. Heti is excellent at crafting a descriptive visual and distinctive character personalities. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on May 12, 2019 by Grant

  • odd and original
Format: Kindle
hmmm....how should a person think of this novel? For the most part, it's interesting although it doesn't fully answer the question of how should a person be...in this case, how should a person who is trying write a play be. I love that she is asking though.....it's a question I asked of myself when I was a searching twenty year old. How should a person be?? There were so many options. This is a rambling, sometimes insightful, sometimes boring account of her life in Toronto hanging out with her friend, Margaux, and their very specific focus on art....the making of art, the meaning of art, their artsy friends, etc. It's an unexciting life other than some aggressive sex thrown in. Heti seems to be downplaying everything, almost trying to make her life uninteresting and at the same time wishing to be famous, as she's come to the realization that is how a person should be. It's odd but original. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on April 28, 2018 by pml

  • Unreadable, Waste of your time
Format: Paperback
How did this book get on the New York Times list? I'll never know. Setting aside the fact that it is 300-odd pages of truly tragic writing, I think you can consider it as what leotards were to the 80s -- trendy, tacky, and unnecessarily revealing. It feels like the author is that horrible acquaintance that constantly invites herself to dinner, gets way too drunk and faster than anyone at the table, and will loudly defend 50 Shades of Grey as great feminist literature without any prompting. It's a knock-off version of this "confessional writing" trend but replacing honesty and openness with self-deprecating, manipulative tricks by stringing one false epiphany after another. It's cheesy, pretentious, self-indulgent crap under the guise of "bravery" and being "artfully messy". Since this was recommended to me by a close friend, I've tried to get into it. But this morning, reaching the of the crest of this pathetic, self-inflicted misogyny, I threw my hands up and left it on the bus. Hopefully someone will put it to use as toilet paper. In summary, I only spent $4.95 on this book but still think it was way overpriced. Do yourself a favor and skip it. So many other, better, writers out there. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on January 30, 2015 by Maryellen

  • Great dissapointment
Format: Paperback
This lady knows how to write. This is all I can say for her. But the novel has been a great disappointment for me. I was expecting some insights into human nature, yes, on How should a person be, and I found myself having to read a very chaotic narrative about the life of a very uninteresting person. I kept thinking about the New York Times ranking this book very high and I could not understand why. Perhaps the fact that I am almost 80 years old explains my disappointment. A novel about blowjobs is no longer my cup of tea. However, I expected some plot, some beginning, middle and end, I am terribly conventional, I know. But I never expected this. I have to say that I could not finish reading it and that the book went down th shuttle, sorry to say. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on August 5, 2013 by Gustavo Coronel

  • Inspiring
Format: Kindle
This is the first book that I have read by Sheila Heti, but it won't be the last. I find her storytelling and candid contemplation about life,values, and relationships very intriguing and inspiring. There were many times that I stopped to highlight and share a quote to myself. The stories about painting were especially relevant since I am a painter myself. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on July 24, 2023 by Debra Ripp

  • What's in my sack?
Format: Paperback
This book's title suggests that it might read like a self-help book or a manual on being, and I believe that if it were possible to write the definitive handbook for personhood, Sheila Heti would want to do it. But with this book, Heti demonstrates why such a book could never exist--there are too many possible ways to be to say that any one of them is correct. As such, it falls somewhere between the feel of a memoir and a novel, with much of its dialogue delivered in scenes like a play. Sheila Heti herself serves as narrator, which lends itself to the memoir style, but its plot points are organized more like a novel, which makes some of them fairly predictable and undercuts the experimental edge readers might expect after reading some of the blurbs of praise included in this edition of the book. It is perhaps more useful to think of this book as one woman's attempt to chronicle how she has come to terms with the often terrifying freedom and confines of personhood. Without spoiling too much, Heti leaves her husband early in the narrative and realizes that she is free to make her own way in the world, as free as one can be from the influences of others. She feels a responsibility to assume a position as a leader, to "lead the people out of bondage," specifically by writing a play. This play and her struggle to write it are crucial to the development of her character from the beginning to the end of the book. She intends to answer the question, "How should a person be?" and of course, finds that there are too many possible answers to say that only one is correct. She looks for answers sometimes by studying others, particularly successful or graceful people, and aims to fashion herself into a composite of their best qualities, but she finds that some qualities, even good ones, do not suit some people. Along the way, she offers some interesting approaches readers can use to think about their own lives and selves. Are you one of those destined to live naked as an example for others? What's in your sack? What would your ugly painting look like? While Heti may not offer much in the way of specific, practical life advice, she provides something more thought- and action-provoking. She models for us just one of the possible approaches we might take in figuring out our own lives. Still, I get the sense that she wrote this book more for herself than for any audience. This book is smart, often funny, and easy to read casually. It may not be as unpredictable or alien as some of its marketing suggests, but don't hold that against Heti. Read it for yourself and figure out how to be. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on March 20, 2019 by Darlyn

  • Asking the big question
Format: Paperback
How should a person be? Heti may or may not answer the question she poses. It all depends on how you read the novel. A look on the inside: It’s sort of diary like but sometimes morphs into dialogue form like a play that includes emails and transcribed tape-recorded conversations. The sections are also broken up into four different acts. Sheila's goal throughout the book is to write a play commissioned to do for a feminist theater company. She struggles finishing it and asks Margaux, her first female friend, to give her opinion or ways to make it better. Margaux encourages her to take another alternative to her play. Hence, the creation of this book. But the ultimate goal here is for Sheila to find herself. Sheila navigates through her life, particularly in this moment, and is worried whether she has a soul or it's the soul of a leader. Overall, Sheila wants to be admired. I mean, who doesn’t want to be? ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on April 4, 2019 by Diana Perez

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