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Description
“Most people will never find a great psychiatrist or a great Buddhist teacher, but Mark Epstein is both, and the wisdom he imparts in Advice Not Given is an act of generosity and compassion. The book is a tonic for the ailments of our time.”—Ann Patchett, New York Times bestselling author of Commonwealth Our ego, and its accompanying sense of nagging self-doubt as we work to be bigger, better, smarter, and more in control, is one affliction we all share. But while our ego is at once our biggest obstacle, it can also be our greatest hope. We can be at its mercy or we can learn to work with it. With great insight, and in a deeply personal style, renowned psychiatrist and author Dr. Mark Epstein offers a how-to guide that refuses a quick fix. In Advice Not Given, he reveals how Buddhism and Western psychotherapy, two traditions that developed in entirely different times and places, both identify the ego as the limiting factor in our well-being, and both come to the same conclusion: When we give the ego free rein, we suffer; but when it learns to let go, we are free. Read more
Publisher : Penguin Books
Publication date : January 15, 2019
Language : English
Print length : 224 pages
ISBN-10 : 0399564349
ISBN-13 : 45
Item Weight : 6.4 ounces
Dimensions : 5.23 x 0.58 x 7.94 inches
Best Sellers Rank: #225,190 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #147 in Medical Psychotherapy TA & NLP #227 in Popular Psychology Psychotherapy #451 in Buddhism (Books)
#147 in Medical Psychotherapy TA & NLP:
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Top Amazon Reviews
Format: Kindle
Advice not given: a guide to getting over yourself by Mark Epstein reviewed by Jerry Woolpy Mark is Jewish with a lot of experience with the philosophy of Buddhism and meditation and he is a practicing analytic psychiatrist. What makes the book readable is that with all that philosophical orientation, Freud, Buddha, and many of their devotees, he is a straight forward and clear demystifier. Being psychoanalytic, it is not surprising that he is ego centered and devoted to the unconscious. Don’t get rid of the ego, because it is essential to effective living, but don’t let it dominate you. Above all do not try to suppress what is bothering you even if you don’t know what it is. Try to recognize it, understand it, and live with it. The book takes on the eight precepts of Buddhism, one chapter at a time, showing how each can be useful in patient therapy. The precepts are: Right View, Right Motivation, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, Right Concentration. In marked contrast to 613 mitzvot Moses brought down from Sinai, which speak to external behaviors to help us get along with each other, Buddha’s Rights are internal ways to cope with an ever-changing universe, and like Moses’, to get along with the vicissitudes. Jerry Woolpy <[email protected]> or [email protected]
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Reviewed in the United States on January 27, 2018 by Tara Woolpy
Format: Kindle
I've really enjoyed this book. I've been interested in meditation and Buddhism for a while now and I feel like this book was the perfect combination, while drawing it close to real life. Mark has such a simple style that is able to deliver powerful messages. He also manages to draw on multiple real life examples and old stories to drive the point further. He helped explain a few things about concentration and mindfulness that felt very vague to me before. And I've enjoyed how he assures you that even him, after so many years, still struggles with things and it's about continuing the practice. It makes it attainable on a way. I would also read it again in a while, just to remember some important points about the true essence of letting go. It's also a short read.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 15, 2021 by wantoun
Format: Hardcover
i have read several books on Buddhism. I borrowed Advice not Given from the library , read it, then decided to buy it. I like that he gives personal examples from his life, makes the point more clear. Sometimes with books written from a traditional Buddhist point of view, its hard to understand the point from a western point of view without being immersed in the culture. Somethings seem to get lost in translation.
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Reviewed in the United States on July 30, 2018 by deon simon
Format: Hardcover
I think this book is easy to understand. Even if you are not a practitioner or fan of Buddhism, Meditation, psychology, Western therapy, I think this book bridges a lot of gaps for a beginner like me. Just as meditation can be learned, and deepened with practice, I think this book has ideas that are helpful for many, even for various low or high levels of experience. Learning from a higher level just might be possible with this book. The idea for the title of the book is I think reinforced right away by the author writing about such discoveries as his learning through trial and error, how to plant seeds/ideas with patients, and that he does not need to force something on a someone when it isn't perhaps the right time to do so. I'm sure the author reinforced this notion many times over throughout the book. For me, the notion of Buddhism and meditation has always been favorable in my mind. I am somewhat familiar with the concepts (even learning as I read), and my deceased high school chum made it a point to have her husband mention her practice in the eulogy. Very unusual. This says a whole lot because I respect her. I like simple truths better than long-winded analyses, and I do not seek them enough. For example, for awhile I followed words the Dalai Lama has said. This book offers some of this sort of simplicity, with the different chosen practices converging together in every chapter. Often, when I am reading about some esoteric ideas an author will appear to simply repeat the same stuff over and over, nothing much really happening. Like fluff. Or the point is never backed up by actual demonstration. This book often spoke to me on a level where I can see the change in someone, and I believed it was for real. Also, even though I didn't always understand the references to Buddha, and others, I am impressed how this was also woven into the chapters. Intro - Preparing to talk of the Eightfold Path, which includes the following: The Right View The Right Motivation The Right Speech The Right Action The Right Livelihood The Right Effort The Right Mindfulness The Right Concentration. Epilogue - Very nice personal note from the author's heart. "Right" is explained differently than what I expected. Maybe there is a word or two, but I can't think of any; there were so many different ways this author, Mark Epstein M.D., has found to explain the Eightfold path, and it's parts. I have been under a lot of stress because of the holidays, and when the author talks about Meditation I didn't feel too bad that I couldn't do it. He explains that he doesn't want patients to have yet another thing they will feel bad about. So in his practice of Psychiatry he broaches carefully the introduction of any idea, including Buddhism, or meditation. Personally, I need to exercise before I can actually meditate, and I have never had an enlightened moment caused by actually trying to sit and just do it. I will have these moments though in ways that surprise me. Usually, this involves some form of inspiration that comes to me, and I somehow know it just might be good enough to go with. If it isn't the right time I learn and move on. I am always moving, and it is quite impossible for me to intentionally quiet my mind. Still I got a lot about this book because of the wisdom, East meeting west, Buddhism meeting Western therapy! I always appreciate good books, and this can be read in order or not; sand yet the author intentionally put this book together this way for a reason as he points out toward the end of the book about Right Concentration. I appreciated the personal stories, and the many examples of others he has interacted with (teachers, practitioners, doctors, colleagues, peers, those he admires. It all ties in with what the author wants to say. The author was very young to have embarked on his journey to become the professional he is today. There was one example of a media guy who had anxiety attacks, and he caught on really fast to these ideas. I only wish it could happen like that for me. But most of the examples were very descriptive, and well-represented indeed. I love it. Enjoy.
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Reviewed in the United States on January 6, 2018 by kstars
Format: Kindle
As a Buddhist meditator going into my seventh year of practice, this was a book I could not put down. I’ll admit I had never read any of Mark’s books before because I thought all of his previous book titles sounded pretentious. Every Buddhist parable he brought up in the book were ones I heard before, but he mixed those stories with anecdotes from his life as a psychotherapist which was interesting to say the least. My only criticism was that due to the brief length of the book is that it felt like every few paragraphs someone was having a break through Ah-ha! moment—which sometimes felt just a tad lacking or a bit contrived.
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Reviewed in the United States on January 26, 2018 by Ms. Riot
Format: Hardcover
Many helpful insights overall on Buddhism, but the persistent references and appeals to Freudian authority and mythology is a pitiable distraction. Freud was an original and creative thinker, and a master metaphysician who stole liberally from literature for calculated system-building effect, but who lacked scientific method. Neuroscience has made Freud a minor historical sideshow. Good riddance to Freud, and here's to getting over it.
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Reviewed in the United States on March 27, 2018 by Michael B. Cahill
Format: Kindle
If you like pretense and imaginary perfection, don't read this book. If you like humility and authenticity, you may find this to be one of the best books about Buddhism and psychotherapy that you will ever read. I felt very touched by many of the anecdotes shared in this book. It's notable that Mark wrote this book as he found himself approaching old age, a time when impermanence starts to become very real.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 11, 2020 by P. Norris
Format: Paperback
Straight to the point, easy to understand. Loved it!
Reviewed in the United States on May 9, 2020 by Katherine Jimenez