The Entitlement Trap: How to Rescue Your Child with a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership
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Description
Dump the allowance-and use a new "Family Economy" to raise responsible children in an age of instant gratification. Number-one New York Times bestselling authors Richard and Linda Eyre, have spent the last twenty-five years helping parents nurture strong, healthy families. Now they've synthesized their vast experience in an essential blueprint to instilling children with a sense of ownership, responsibility, and self-sufficiency. At the heart of their plan is the "Family Economy" complete with a family bank, checkbooks for kids, and a system of initiative-building responsibilities that teaches kids to earn money for the things they want. The motivation carries over to ownership of their own decisions, values, and goals. Anecdotal, time- tested, and gently humorous, The Entitlement Trap challenges some of the sacred cows of parenting and replaces them with values that will save kids (and their parents) from a lifetime of dependence and disabling debt. Read more
Publisher : Penguin Publishing Group; 1st edition (September 6, 2011)
Language : English
Paperback : 256 pages
ISBN-10 : 1583334157
ISBN-13 : 57
Item Weight : 9.3 ounces
Dimensions : 6 x 0.64 x 9 inches
Best Sellers Rank: #700,950 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #421 in School-Age Children Parenting #1,924 in Budgeting & Money Management (Books)
#421 in School-Age Children Parenting:
#1,924 in Budgeting & Money Management (Books):
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Top Amazon Reviews
My husband (M. Russell) I have been married almost seven years. Within the first month of being married we were already brainstorming ideas for when we had children - how we would teach them about finances, etc. We didn't have our first child until we had been married for 3 years (he is almost 4 now) and we have continued to read parenting books that teach these principles (we also LOVED America's Cheapest Family by the Economides America's Cheapest Family Gets You Right on the Money: Your Guide to Living Better, Spending Less, and Cashing in on Your Dreams) - and it is interesting how so many of them are using the same principles to teach their kids to be self-sufficient, responsible and good stewards of what they have rather than waiting for handouts from everyone else. We will implement the this system as my oldest is ready for the different stages since it has worked for many families AND because it is so in alignment with many of the ideas my husband and I have brainstormed over the years. Why re-invent the wheel when someone else has figured it all out? To the reviewer who only gave this book one star - Did you actually read this book and the anecdotes the Eyre's shared that came from dozens of OTHER families who use this system? Did you catch on how often they said this wasn't something that should be implemented all at once, but rather through a process gradually building upon earlier, established parts of the system? It is not too detailed that families won't really use this system because other families have and do use this system! This is the first Kindle book I've read (I just got my first smartphone a week ago) and I am so immersed in it that I was surprised when I was 50% of the way through the book. I don't even realize how much I've read because it is so engaging (although I have come to appreciate non-fiction books a lot more over the last 5 years). Some things are repetitive - but repetition is one of the ways we learn something really well. The more times you read/hear something the better you will understand/learn it so that you can implement it. This is also the first Eyre book I've read and I told my husband last night that we should buy their Values book. If you just want a brief overview of the system before purchasing this book - check out the Eyre's website: [...] as I am sure that teaches what is in the book in a 'pamphlet' form. That might be enough for other people, but I like to be as thorough as I can when I study something so I like the anecdotes from the Eyre's life as well as the stories from the other parents who have used this system. Reading how other people adapt the system to their own family helps me start thinking how I can adapt the system to my family and our interests.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 17, 2011 by M. Russell
Just finished it and really appreciated their perspective and insights. Already changed our chore chart (we decided to write all the chores to be done in the house - about 80 - on colored tongue depressors and put in a jar and she chooses 2 or 3 each day) she loves the variety and I love she gets to learn each chore in the house. Also, helped how to do "allowance vs. money for chores" which was our big dilemma. I love this new way of getting her all the money she needs for clothes, songs, movies, activites, etc. through this system so she has to manage her own money. My daughter is 14 and has already learned several lessons about budgeting through some mistakes (small ones:) and I feel so much better knowing she is learning this now instead of in college where the money mistakes would be bigger... Thanks, Eyres for another great, applicable, positive book
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Reviewed in the United States on August 12, 2015 by Mom of 1
All parents need to give this a read! It left me feeling energized about all the things we can do to prevent entitlement before it spreads its roots.
Reviewed in the United States on March 7, 2023 by Nicole
I pre-ordered this book and was very excited to receive it the day it came out. I learned about the Eyres through their "Teaching Your Children Values" book a few months ago--and promptly became a fan. I then ended up buying or borrowing through the library many of their existing books. Perhaps it's because I've read so many of their books in a short span of time, but there's not a lot new here. The stories are the same, the plan is the same, etc. It's the family economy--including peg system and check books, family rules, and family traditions. It's really like a best of... the best tips from all of their books. I can tell you that these are the things that have made a difference in my family--so if you're not familiar with their previous works, then by all means, buy this book! You will find numerous practical tips that you can put into play tomorrow that can make a change with your family. I really urge you to just try and do one thing and build upon it. We started with a family meeting--and it made such a difference. Also, Linda's advice of Praise (I think I first read about it in "A Joyful Mother to Children" but maybe it's in the Nurturing book) has turned around my "problem" child. We've implemented a lot of their suggestions--including family rules (although not as one-word simple as theirs), a family motto/mission statement, family economy, and family values. If you have young kids, I highly recommend Brite Music's Standin' Tall audio series for a monthly value. (LDS company, but secular as far as I can tell.) The monthly values are not exactly the same as with the Eyres, but the presentation and even the choice of values seems to make more sense for young kids. We also really like the Dave Ramsey storybooks for kids about Junior for teaching fiscal knowledge/responsibility. If I hadn't purchased many of their books already, this would be a new favorite. If you like this and want to read more by these authors, these are my favorites: 1. Three Steps to a Strong Family 2. The Book of Nurturing 3. A Joyful Mother of Children 4. Teaching Your Children Values I also found reading through "How to Talk to You Children About Sex" useful--and although I thought 8 was too young to have "the talk", I've realized that they're right--and I'm wrong. (I will say we disagree on homosexuality and masturbation.) The ONLY reason I'm taking away one star is that it's a lot of the same materials in their other books. This is a five star book for anybody new to the Eyres. However, even if you've read it all before, it's always good to be reminded of various techniques and ideas. In all honesty, each and every time I re-read a parenting book, I am inspired to try at least one thing new or do things a bit differently.
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Reviewed in the United States on September 13, 2011 by Mayflower Girl
The authors make practical teaching money management to kids of all ages, mainly ages 5 through 18. It's not too late for most parents. ... and the system unifies kids and parents, strengthening relationships through working together managing the family economy. Nice idea to have weekly family meetings. Great experience from family trips to Africa, Mexico, Guatemala to help build a school, and help build a system to bring water from a stream to a town square. Glad to read this in support of grand-kiddos and their parents. THANKS to authors Richard and Linda Eyre
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Reviewed in the United States on December 23, 2019 by Melinda A Willson