The Entitlement Cure: Finding Success in Doing Hard Things the Right Way
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Do you have anyone in your life who can't seem to stick with a project, meet a deadline, or even clean up after themselves? All of us feel we deserve special treatment sometimes. Some people live with this entitled attitude, such as:Professionals who wander from job to job looking for a boss who will see them as amazing as they consider themselves to be--whether they're productive or notYoung adults who refuse to grow up and so go nowhereSpouses or dates who believe, "I'm special, and I deserve more than you're giving me"Leaders who expect special treatment because of their position, not because of their characterIf you have a difficult relationship with an entitled person, or if you have discovered entitlement in yourself, understand this: It doesn't have to stay this way. There is a cure. It's called the Hard Way and it works.In The Entitlement Cure, Dr. John Townsend explains that the Hard Way is a habit that focuses on doing whatever is needed even if it is difficult, uncomfortable, takes longer, and requires more energy. Dr. Townsend offers daily steps, such as risk-taking, to help you or those you love choose the Hard Way.Ultimately, entitlement fails us. We don't develop the character abilities and relationships necessary to reach success and become the people God intended us to be. By contrast, Hard Way people have better relationships, reach their goals, have a clear job direction, enjoy rich spiritual growth, and are equipped to face and solve challenges.As Dr. Townsend writes, "Stand against entitlement in every form in which it manifests itself. Resolve your own tendencies toward the disease. Be a loving and firm force for helping those in its trap to find life and hope. And you will make the world a better place." Discover why the Hard Way is the best way in this practical guide to true success. Read more
Publisher : Zondervan
Publication date : October 6, 2015
Language : English
Print length : 288 pages
ISBN-10 : 0310330521
ISBN-13 : 23
Item Weight : 15.7 ounces
Dimensions : 6.38 x 1 x 9.25 inches
Best Sellers Rank: #718,950 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #262 in Christian Business & Professional Growth #1,551 in Christian Church Leadership (Books) #2,554 in Christian Personal Growth
#262 in Christian Business & Professional Growth:
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Top Amazon Reviews
Format: Hardcover
A Review of Dr. John Townsend’s new book: The Entitlement Cure: Finding Success in Doing Hard Things the Right Way By Dave Walker - Cincinnati, Ohio The issue of Entitlement has been cited by many as one of THE major problems in America. This book is not just a wake-up call, motivational read, an insightful tome defining the issues involved or merely a call to action. Thankfully, this is a book in whose chapters lie a tool chest from which the reader can discover “the what, and how to” of building the skills necessary to restore people from the entitlement mentality. First, it helps the reader explore the possibility of what the author refers to as the “pocket entitlement”. That is, what you might be carrying around in your own life. Once the log removal is underway, the reader is asked to do the next hard thing; helping those in his reach and influence who are stuck in the grip of entitlement. The author, Dr. Townsend, does not hide the fact that combating entitlement is hard. In fact, he drives this fact home over and over throughout the book. Though there is no easy solution, there is an effective one. In each chapter he takes a realistic look under the surface of the various issues and nuances involved in Entitlement. One skill this book will help you develop is how to initiate a consequence-based conversation to provide the entitled person with a needed dose of reality. One of the conundrums one faces is how to make it clear to a person the ways others experience the entitled behavior of that individual. The seven elements the author provides outline a caring way to approach the person with an entitlement complex. Each chapter is solutions-oriented and ends with three practical skills to develop in counteracting the grip of entitlement in that area. Yes, it is hard work and takes a number of specific skills. The process this book teaches develops a critical character ability that psychologists call internal structure. This process also involves learning how to apply what the author calls the calendarized process, external structuring, relational support, revamping a self-image that helps, what obstacles to expect, and how to face the pain that gets you past those obstacles to combat this condition and be healed. I have read through the entire book and now I am stuck with a dilemma. I cannot call myself a responsible person and hold The Entitlement Cure in my hands without doing the next hard thing: to go back through the book and start developing the skills taught within its pages. I now understand this condition more thoroughly and know the answer for combatting this pervasive, devastating problem in me and our culture. I now have had some of the blindness lifted in areas of my own life. I have no excuse. I now possess the means to the solution. It is not easy, but I too believe the hard way is the right way. I must accept the authors charge to become a change agent in my own life. Then I may be genuine in my offer to help others overcome their aversion to dealing with this reality in their own lives as well. Join me. Get this book. Read it, learn from it, and stop playing the blame game. Learn to take meaningful risks. Accept personal responsibility by taking the risk of confronting entitlement wherever you observe it with the skills available in this culture changing book. This book is not the solution. You are! That is, if you read it. Ask God for the grace to build the skills it teaches into your life, and to loving use you to deliver others from the entitlement trap, from “I Deserve” to “I am Responsible” living.
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Reviewed in the United States on October 14, 2015 by Dave Walker
Format: Kindle
God is using The Entitlement Cure by John Townsend to change my life. I wouldn’t have thought of myself as “entitled”—a bit self-centered from being introverted, yes, but not “entitled.” According to the author, “Entitlement is the belief that I am exempt from responsibility and I am owed special treatment.” As I read the first few chapters, I was uncomfortable with the content. I kept thinking about setting it aside to read later, but I also knew my discomfort was a sign I needed to press in to find the source of my uneasiness. As John Townsend began to explain the path of least resistance followed by people with entitlement issues versus the “Hard Way” followed by people who overcome obstacles in life and find success, I knew I was onto something that would help me. According to the author, the Hard Way is “The habit of doing what is best, rather than what is comfortable, to achieve a worthwhile outcome.” One thing that struck me early on was that my generation was taught to reframe negatives as positives because it’s better for your mental health. But Townsend suggests that if we don’t allow ourselves to identify negative things in our lives then we don’t have anything to change. You have to identify a problem before you can fix it so calling it something else prevents you from making changes. He offers a number of mantras throughout the book—first person declarations of principles to live by and the reasons the Hard Way is better. Townsend’s explanation for getting unstuck (which is how I’ve felt for years) set me into immediate action: “Your Next Hard Thing (NHT) is the choice you need to make that will get you past the difficulty.” Instead of the overwhelm of too many things that seem too big or out of control, he suggests taking one small step each day. As you chip away at that big problem, it won’t be so big and eventually, you’ll overcome your obstacles. He also explained that “Doing stuff that doesn’t seem productive is an improvement over not doing anything except the same thing you’ve always done.” *Headslap* Well, of course! I feel stuck because I’m approaching things the same way I always have (which includes a lot of avoidance) so doing something different is an improvement, even if it seems unproductive at the moment. That is helpful to me in changing my habits and how I look at them. I hate to be dramatic, but this is potentially a life-changing book for me. If you or anyone you know seems stuck in life, The Entitlement Cure would be a worthwhile read. Townsend also spends a lot of time addressing loved ones in how they can help others who are living with “the entitlement disease.” (BTW, that’s the one thing I took exception to. I didn’t like him referring to it as a disease because I felt that belittles people with actual diseases or mental illness.) Go. Buy. Read. Overcome. This review first appeared on my blog. You can find the link in my profile.
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Reviewed in the United States on January 14, 2017 by Christy Bower
Format: Kindle
I read a preview copy of this book. I really enjoyed reading it and have shared this with my spouse, and purchased a copy for him. He wanted to read it as well. “The Entitlement Cure” By Dr. Jon Townsend “Conclusion: The Path” P.271 “Actually, THERE IS AN EASY WAY. It is the yoke of Jesus, and it is identical to God’s Hard Way. This is no play on words; it is real and true. From God’s perspective, they are one and the same. In the words below, Jesus gives us this comfort and encouragement: Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentile and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30, italics added)” P. 271 “Jesus tells us that his yoke is easy. But at the same time, he does not refrain from calling it a yoke. A yoke is a device that connects you directly to the weight to be pulled—the work to be done—just as a workhorse is connected by yoke and harness to the plow to be pulled. Accepting the yoke of Jesus means committing to work—sometimes to hard work. But he still calls it easy, because it spares us and frees us from the yoke of the law.” The law and its yoke doesn’t allow for the grace offered to us via Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. We can never work hard enough to earn our salvation. It is only available to us via accepting Jesus as our savior and the sacrifice He made for us. P. 271 “If you have ever felt the need to strive to be good enough for God, to seek approval from others, or to perform—and still not felt acceptable no matter how hard you struggled—then you know something about the law. That yoke is impossible to bear, and therein lies perfectionism, self-condemnation, guile, and shame. It will break your back if you take it on.” P.271 “Yet I believe that even the way of the law, as hard as it is, is actually less difficult than the way of entitlement. Why should that be? Because the law at least drives us to hunger for and search after God. The way entitlement, however, begins and ends with narcissism. Attempting to be good enough for God yields more hope than demanding to be God.” You’ll need to purchase and read “The Entitlement Cure” by Dr. John Townsend to read more of his words of wisdom.
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Reviewed in the United States on October 10, 2015 by D. Alden
Format: Kindle
I’m not sure an author can address a more relevant and prevalent topic in today’s culture than entitlement. I see it in the lives of my children, in the lives of young adults in our church, and most often in my own life. While I easily spot entitlement in the lives of others, I often miss it in my own life. Townsend helps the reader understand the significance and universality of the entitlement problem. He defines entitlement as the belief that I am exempt from responsibility and am owed special treatment. It’s an attitude that says “I’m special and exceptional,” that believes the individual is owed something, that denies responsibility, and that refuses to accept responsibility. The “cure” Townsend prescribes is the Hard Way, that says, “The habit of doing what is best, rather than what is comfortable, to achieve a worthwhile outcome.” The Entitlement Cure would be a great read for teachers, pastors, employers, coaches, and more.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 8, 2017 by Scott Kedersha
Format: Kindle
Dr. John Townsend has sold more than 8 million copies of his books and is best known as coauthor of the Boundaries Series and Handling Difficult People. He's co-host of “New Life Live” radio show with 3 million listeners. He's also a respected leadership coach skilled in Organizational Leadership, Executive Coaching and Counseling. In his book "The Entitlement Cure: Finding Success in Doing Hard Things the Right Way", he tackles the current state of entitlement head-on. You've probably witnessed entitlement in local sports, national news, politics, celebrity gossip, and reality television. We see rampant entitlement with social media- as ordinary people push media boundaries to achieve overnight stardom. Like it or not, we're dealing with the reality of entitlement. Comedians John Crist and Chonda Pierce have grasped the humor of entitlement in their viral videos. I'm a HUGE fan of the topic as I see entitlement dominating communities and tempting people into prideful positions. Many of my social media friends are currently reading and quoting from the book. It appeals to a wide demographic audience. Here are my book notes (make sure you read the entire book for a better understanding): 1. Entitlement is a sociology disease. From this viewpoint, diseases have identifiable symptoms, diagnosis, underlying cause, and cures. Isn't that worth investigating? 2. Family members get stuck in entitlement. If you remember that John Townsend has written several books about healthy boundaries, then it's no surprise that entitlement is spread through enabling. We can help entitled family members by setting safe limits or what is permitted in our relationships. 3. Move family members from deserving to responsibility. This is a big lesson I need to teach my adult children, and it's done with intention. Somewhat similar to the "Peter Pan Syndrome" of never growing up! 4. Motivating someone from entitlement to responsibility requires discipline and structure. It's not easy to teach someone to be a self-feeder, yet when she learns to fish and feed herself, everyone is blessed! I need discipline on my part not to rescue her from failure, and she needs to learn by taking risks and making mistakes. In-between is prayer. LOTS of prayer! I'm pretty sure I highlighted 85% of my Kindle ebook version!
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Reviewed in the United States on July 14, 2017 by Book Life
Format: Paperback
Nailed the problem down 100 percent. Social Worker 55 years here. Very well written and very well informed on problems related to this !
Reviewed in the United States on August 13, 2025 by labrador mom
Format: Hardcover
One of the best books I’ve ever read. I might re-read it some day.
Reviewed in the United States on October 27, 2025 by Experiment626
Format: Hardcover
If you are reading this for a normal person who just needs a push, it's fine. If you are reading this to deal with a narcissist, it's not what you are looking for.
Reviewed in the United States on July 18, 2016 by Anonymous