Loving Your Friend through Cancer: Moving beyond "I'm Sorry" to Meaningful Support
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"It's cancer."When you hear the two words you dread most from someone you care about, you know at once that your friend's life has been turned upside down.Whether she's a good friend, a best friend, or just an acquaintance, you want to be supportive. But how can you understand what she’s going through enough to know what she needs? What can you say besides "If you need anything . . . anything at all . . ."?Marissa Henley is here to help show you the way. A cancer survivor herself, she lets you in on what having cancer feels like and what your friend truly needs. She prepares you to support your friend with both knowledge and compassion. And she offers specific action steps and practical support resources to help you show love in the day-to-day details.Cancer is a life-altering challenge, but Marissa will equip and empower you to walk alongside your friend with love and support. Read more
Publisher : P&R Publishing; 1st edition (May 31, 2018)
Language : English
Paperback : 264 pages
ISBN-10 : 1629953547
ISBN-13 : 40
Item Weight : 11.4 ounces
Dimensions : 5.6 x 0.7 x 8.4 inches
Best Sellers Rank: #381,628 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #535 in Cancer (Books) #560 in Christian Death & Grief
#535 in Cancer (Books):
#560 in Christian Death & Grief:
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Top Amazon Reviews
This is tremendously helpful book on a very difficult topic of what to do when one’s friend is going through cancer. The book is written by Marissa Henley who herself is a cancer survivor. It took me a long time to finish the book but I am glad I read through this book slowly. It was extremely helpful and I took pages after pages of notes along the way. In God’s providence I read this book as a pastor who at first was curious about ministering to those who have cancer as a hypothetical scenario and therefore it wasn’t a priority but then it turned out I really did needed this book in ministering to someone who really had cancer a few months after I first began this book. I am glad this book was written as I found it immensely helpful for pastors though it was written for lay Christians in the church. I recommend this book and rate it five out of five. The book consisted of thirteen chapters. All the chapters were tremendously helpful. The first ten chapters is focused on ministering to a friend who has cancer. Chapter eleven shifts the focus on ministering to friends or church members in which their spouse, parent or child have cancer. Chapter twelve discusses “when there’s no cure” while chapter thirteen discusses the topic of supporting a friend who survived cancer. I cannot stress enough how helpful this book has been. It exceeded my expectations. It made me think a lot about things I haven’t considered before. I found in the beginning of the book the discussion of circles of friendship one is at in relations to the person with the cancer tremendously helpful; it allows one to consider just how much one can help and also what the assistance would look like according to where you fall in the circle of friendship; yet one shouldn’t despair if one want to help more as time would often bring those who are consistently helpful in the outer circle into the more inner circle. It is a realistic framework that I haven’t even thought about before. Yet this isn’t just theoretical as the author gave a lot of practical suggestions of what assistance to someone with cancer look like according to one’s place in the circle of friendship. The chapter on unhelpful religious platitudes was also a great read in the book and shouldn’t be missed. Also the book’s discussion about the struggle of those surviving cancer was also an exceptional chapter in a book that has amazing chapters. I never realize how hard it is for those who survive cancer from the fear of cancer coming back to the reality that things aren’t the same like it was before the cancer and also the skeptical cynicism that cancer truly has disappeared. The likelihood of the return of cancer is also very probable which affect one’s outlook and planning in life. I can’t stress enough just how life changing this book for me as a young pastor. It wasn’t just helpful in terms of ministering to those with cancer but it was also helpful for me to be better equipped and more considerate in how I minister to those with other serious illness. As I said in the beginning God really used this book providentially in my ministry. I believe many others who read this book have been tremendously enriched, equipped and ministered by it. Maybe the next person who can benefit from this book is you. NOTE: This book was provided to me free by P&R Publishing and Net Galley without any obligation for a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 9, 2019 by SLIMJIM
I have had three friends now who have been diagnosed with cancer, and have known them in different stages of their journey. Reading this book was like a good friend talking me through how to be a friend at each stage. In the beginning, when my dear friend had to break the news to me that she had just been diagnosed, in the "middle", when I was driving a fellow church member to her chemo appointments each week, and then in the recovery stages as I was getting to know another friend who was going through a double mastectomy and reconstruction. Each stage brings new questions and my heart begged to know how to be a friend for each of them. The Lord used Marissa's words to help bring peace and clarity to the confusion of how to love each friend well. One of the the most helpful chapters for me was Chapter 2: Knowing Your Role as a Friend or Acquaintance. It helped me realize that even if I only knew the woman in my church who was battling breast cancer from seeing her on Sunday mornings, that taking on a role of driving her to her chemo appointments was filling a need. I didn't need to be the one she processed her anxiety and fears with. But Marissa also helped me see that cancer happens to the friends too. When my one friend was diagnosed and my other friend was getting reconstruction and going back each month to make sure the cancer was "really gone," it felt like "we" had cancer. While I might not have had the front-row seat, I was on the rollercoaster with my friends. Marissa does not make you feel like these are things everyone should know, but does gives clear and practical advice for how to love and serve the people in your life that are facing death. I mean, each chapter has a checklist of "Action Steps to Consider"! I can't say enough about how Marissa has encouraged me through her book. It's a book I don't want to need, but am so glad I have.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 10, 2019 by Friend of Cancer Survivors
Loving Your Friend Through Cancer, speaks right into the desire and need for love, service, and care during the hardest time of your friends life. Marissa writes from experience as she has both loved through the battle and experienced the battle first hand. Cancer sucks, but your presence in your friend’s life brings a light in the darkest night. Your presence is needed, and Marissa has provided you with a guide to being a meaningful and compassionate support to your friends and loved ones during this time. Filled with resources in the back to apply everything she discusses to the reality of Loving Your Friend Through Cancer. Cancer is inevitable, it is a part of all of our lives in one way or another. I believe that is why we need resources like this on our shelves; we need to be prepared and ready to love in the hard places. I have never had Cancer, but I have struggled with other diagnoses and health issues that have rocked my life. While it speaks directly to Loving Your Friend Through Cancer, this book is a beautiful guide to loving through anything life altering your friend faces. From loss and diagnoses to any emotionally painful life change this book has a beautiful framework for being a friend that stays through the storm, the aftermath, and into her new version of life. Because whether your friend is walking through Cancer personally or with a loved one, there is no going back only forward into a completely new version of life. I highly recommend this book to you and to any of your friends who are walking with their loved ones through Cancer. This book brought comfort and purpose to my role as friend when it feels like there is no way I could possibly help. There is. Our friend needs us more than ever.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 31, 2018 by Hannah Cox