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Sociopath: A Memoir

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The acclaimed New York Times bestselling memoir of the author’s struggle to understand her own sociopathy and shed light on the often maligned and misunderstood mental disorder. “A cross between a podcast by relationship therapist Esther Perel and a salacious tell-all.” —San Francisco Chronicle Patric Gagne realized she made others uncomfortable before she started kindergarten. Something about her caused people to react in a way she didn’t understand. She suspected it was because she didn’t feel things the way other kids did. Emotions like fear, guilt, and empathy eluded her. For the most part, she felt nothing. And she didn’t like the way that “nothing” felt. She did her best to pretend she was like everyone else, but the constant pressure to conform to a society she knew rejected anyone like her was unbearable. So Patric stole. She lied. She was occasionally violent. She became an expert lock-picker and home-invader. All with the goal of replacing the nothingness with...something. In college, Patric finally confirmed what she’d long suspected. She was a sociopath. But even though it was the very first personality disorder identified—well over 200 years ago—sociopathy had been neglected by mental health professionals for decades. She was told there was no treatment, no hope for a normal life. She found herself haunted by sociopaths in pop culture, madmen and evil villains who are considered monsters. Her future looked grim. But when Patricreconnects with an old flame, she gets a glimpse of a future beyond her diagnosis. If she’s capable of love, it must mean that she isn’t a monster. With the help of her sweetheart (and some curious characters she meets along the way) she embarks on a mission to prove that the millions of Americans who share her diagnosis aren’t all monsters either. This is the inspiring story of her journey to change her fate and how she managed to build a life full of love and hope. Read more

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Simon & Schuster (April 2, 2024)


Language ‏ : ‎ English


Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 368 pages


ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 166800318X


ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 83


Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.2 pounds


Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 1.4 x 9 inches


Best Sellers Rank: #4,849 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #1 in Dissociative Disorders #11 in Personality Disorders (Books) #219 in Memoirs (Books)


#1 in Dissociative Disorders:


#11 in Personality Disorders (Books):


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Top Amazon Reviews

    • Fascinating story & meditation on life with feelings we do not want - but is it entirely true?
I was riveted by this book, and read it from cover to cover in a few days. Despite some of the caveats I mention below, I believe this is worthy of 5 stars and is well worth reading. Summary: Very briefly, the book is the author's life story about growing up as a sociopath. As the book describes, sociopaths have some capacity for emotions such as empathy and love, but it is far more muted than most people's. The story tells of the author's journey to understand and accept herself. I found the story very entertaining and an easy read. Why should you read this book? - The book takes you into the mind of a sociopath, and it is fascinating to see the world through a viewpoint that is radically different than one's own. It also shows provides a reframe of a word with a very negative connotation. - For those who have sociopathy, this may be a chance to read a book that helps you understand yourself, and provides words for your reality. - Most significantly for me, the book is a deep exploration of what life is like when our inner emotions do not align with what we believe we should be doing. This is a topic that I believe almost all people can relate to. Whether it is someone who struggles with addiction, deals with compulsive behaviors, has a temper or loses control in any way, we are dealing with a reality where our own behaviors are not aligned with how we believe we should be behaving. This is incredibly common, and yet, the conversations about this reality and the challenges it creates, including the practical impact of these behaviors on ourselves and others, but also the emotional and psychological impact of feeling as if we are not in control and we are not living up to who we want to be, can be enormously damaging. And yet, we rarely talk about this. Most people do not have the vocabulary to explore this or communicate about this. And this is something that the book provides. And a reason I believe it is a very important read even in light of my later comments. Is it for children: The content and book length are probably not suitable for very young children. For those who are considering it for children and want to know about the content, it has a bit of violence and talks extensively about breaking the law. There is some language. Sex is barely mentioned. Is it Real: There are times in the book where it felt to me as if the story and revelations 'fit together' a bit too well and this made me wonder about whether aspects of the story were fabricated. The author notes in the beginning that some characters are composites, and throughout the book, provides insight into her grappling with telling the truth. I (of course) do not know whether the story is basically true, or if aspects are not. I am also not nearly enough of an expert to know whether the understanding of sociopaths as portrayed in the book is in line with modern research. Even with this said, I highly recommend reading this book. It is thought-provoking and entertaining and easy to read. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on April 15, 2024 by Jeffrey L
    • Eye opening
Just unbelievable the things she confesses with raw honesty. Attending church regularly but not church. Funerals. And it’s okay because she brings flowers or makes a donation in their honor according to the write up online. It’s so cool that she had higher scores in the empathy department there for she was able to essentially become a mother wife therapist. Pretty brilliant but also somehow scary to learn what sociopaths are really like. I learned it’s anxiety that leads to them wanting to hurt living things. It’s kind of like the cutting behavior but magnified. That stuff is scary because there are sociopaths among us. I hope these troubled people can find her snd she can help them. Like she said, they aren’t “bad” people, they can’t help how they were born, and they deserve compassion ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on June 19, 2024 by Ricky's Girl
    • Fascinating, and has attributes of good fiction
The psychological makeup of sociopaths is so interesting not only because they are different, but because their qualities, in some contexts, are positive. “People go to yoga and spend thousands of dollars on meditation classes to learn how to let go and feel nothing. But I get to do it every day. For free.” This book is well written, possibly with much editorial assistance, and has attributes of much good fiction: a complex character who evolves, and is not always consistent. It is rich in incident and offers psychological insight, primarily about sociopaths, but also about cognitive therapy and borderline personality disorder. At the same time, the author’s behavior and thought can occasionally be tiresome because of repetitiveness, but this is not a big problem. Patric cites a prominent psychologist who distinguished between primary emotions and learned emotions: “anger, fear, sadness, disgust, surprise, anticipation, trust, and joy” are primary; “empathy, guilt, shame, remorse, jealousy, even love” are learned. As Patric says, sociopaths have “an emotional learning disability”. Patric has to work hard not only to learn, but to accept her difference. Patric is not as fearful nor as trusting as most people. SPOILER ALERT. When Patric meets her future husband at age 14 (he is 4 years older) he is very accepting of her. When they are in an adult relationship, it requires couples therapy before he can accept her, even her evolved self, and not see her as damaged. It is apparently only in college that Patric learns to mimic other people’s emotions and make “friends”. She later becomes freer in telling people she is a sociopath, but they can project onto her what is convenient for them to think this means and even to justify their own behavior, especially in the music business where she works for some years. I was a bit surprised at how long it took, with all the research and therapy and self-improvement, for Patric to consistently accept herself. I did find it humorous that Patric physically avenged her preschooler, without causing the other kid much hurt and so that it looked like an accident. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on July 23, 2024 by algo41
    • interesting
Is this the time for an unrealiable narrator? I don’t think so. I found the book to be interesting and intriguing. Different from other memoirs I have read and I understand some of the topic better now
Reviewed in the United States on July 16, 2024 by Anita
    • Great read and information
I enjoyed this book immensely. I have read a lot of books about personality disorders, but this one was from the perspective of the sociopath, which is rare. It provided great insight. Very honest and brave book. What is it like to feel nothing?
Reviewed in the United States on August 13, 2024 by Ideh
    • Good info
This was an interesting read for an inside perspective from someone who is sociopathic. of course it is a memoir it is not a textbook
Reviewed in the United States on June 17, 2024 by christi cox
    • fascinating and well-written
An unputdownable book that’s filled with fascinating vignettes from the author’s life. Recommend for anyone who loves psychology and what makes people tick.
Reviewed in the United States on August 22, 2024 by Valerie Bowman
    • Great book
This book was well written and gives the reader a glimpse of a condition that is often misdiagnosed and wrongly portrayed portrayed by the media in movies and television shows. I appreciated the main character and although I didn't like her actions at times, I liked her admittance of those feelings and intrusive thoughts she suffered from. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on August 2, 2024 by Canis latrans

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