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A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection

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Description

We know that social connection enriches our lives—so why do we hesitate to connect? “One of those rare books that might actually change your life.” —Daniel Gilbert, New York Times bestselling author of Stumbling on Happiness There is a paradox at the core of human life. We are a highly social species uniquely equipped to connect with other people and doing so is better for us. Yet we so often choose to be unsocial. We avoid talking to the stranger who sits next to us. We struggle to move beyond small talk with an acquaintance. We are reluctant to express our gratitude to people we appreciate. Every day, we avoid opportunities to connect with strangers, neighbors, colleagues, friends, and family. By missing those moments, we miss out on all the benefits of a more social life—one that is happier and healthier for everyone. University of Chicago psychologist and author of Mindwise, Nicholas Epley has spent his career studying the way we connect, and he has found that our social fears often keep us from reaching out. But Epley shows us how to seize the small moments with insights such as: Social connection is a choice we make based on expectations about how others will respond to us—expectations that tend to be overly pessimistic.Introverts and extroverts alike benefit from choosing to be a little more social.Mistaken expectations can cause us to avoid interacting in ways that create strong connections—such as having a conversation—in favor of less satisfying interactions—such as social media or texting.While many books promise one big fix, making a habit of small connections is much more likely to improve your life.The habits and practices that Epley advocates are approachable. The beauty of this book is that small acts have an outsized impact on the most important parts of our lives. Bridging the gap between two people is easier than we think, and success more likely, if we choose to be a little more social. Read more

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Knopf


Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more


Publication date ‏ : ‎ May 19, 2026


Language ‏ : ‎ English


File size ‏ : ‎ 13.0 MB


Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported


Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled


X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled


Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled


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Top Amazon Reviews

    • Reaching out - Goes better than you think
Format: Kindle
While reading this book I came across things that I have experience d in real life. It made my experience s make sense to me. This book has actually helped me to try to be more social. I'm not as pessimistic about how others will react when I reach out to them.
Reviewed in the United States on August 14, 2026 by Robert Wilson
    • Small moments of connection
Format: Hardcover
Review Image by L. Weiss
Small moments of connection can have a much bigger impact on our health and well-being than we might imagine. It's easy to say, "Just get out there and talk to people more." But this book takes you through decades of the author's original research, showing why the effort will be worth it. You can see what happened when tens of thousands of people put their social fears aside and did things like talking to strangers, going deeper in their conversations, giving a compliment, calling instead of texting, etc., and were surprised by how good it made them feel. You can see the data for yourself. I prefer learning from primary sources, so this book resonates with me. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on July 6, 2026 by L. Weiss
    • Good
Format: Kindle
A fascinating book that has the subject of saying hello and continuing on to a conversation. He explains how little we talk to others. We text, talk on the phone but seldom to a human being outside of your family and friends. A question asked might be “ Why do we, the most social species, often choose silence over connection?” Are we afraid to what might happen by talking to someone we don’t know? Worry we might be ignored? Or have we lost the ability to communicate ? I don’t think so. We are just afraid of the reaction that we might or not might get. Is there any way to be comfortable and just say hello to someone you don’t know? Epley answer these questions and more. He gives suggestions on how to start and the rewards you personally received en if it ends up being temporary. The author has written a book that is interesting as he includes his own xperiences of saying hello to “strangers.” There are scientific studies backing him up. The book include bibliographic notes. While I read his book, I thought of a time doing my “hellos” to people I didn’t know. I remember one time being asked if I needed help while I waited for my friend was getting the car. It was done so nicely. I said no but it was such a lovely experience. I won’t forget it. It didn’t urprise me that a book like this was published. Disclaimer: I received an arc of this book from the author/publisher from Netgalley. I wasn’t obligated to write a favorable review. The opinions expressed are strictly my own. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on July 6, 2026 by S. Mahaffey
    • Not so good
Format: Hardcover
I assumed this book would discuss how to talk with strangers and give many examples of topics. There was very little of this. There were lots of useless stories. The information in the book could have been condensed into a one page essay.
Reviewed in the United States on August 1, 2026 by R
    • I put myself out more with less worry. My life is better. Actual science.
Format: Hardcover
Review Image by Wayne Johnson
Because of the knowledge in this book (research that's been accumulating for decades), I put myself out more with more confidence and less worry that I did before. Almost every day of my life is better for knowing most of the time when I jump socially, other people will catch me. And even if I don't land perfectly, most of the time I and they are still better off that I tried. My life is fuller and happier because I take more chances and dissect things less. In a world of click-bait, snake-oil charlatans, and "one weird trick" thinking, this stands out as insightful, well-supported research that actually improves my quality of life to know. Understanding that my baseline is to chronically overestimate negative consequences has taken some of the guesswork and embarrassment out of taking chances. Also, I've got a phd in social psychology and still a lot of the studies and information cited were new to me. This is decades of research summarized into an easy read. When you finish, congrats, you know what a lot of very smart people have dedicated their lives to finding out. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on May 23, 2026 by Wayne Johnson
    • A little less verbal
Format: Hardcover
I found this book boring and I scanned it. It did not hold my interest. I got tired of reading one research study after another. I read the paragraphs that seemed to summarize what he was saying. The book could have been condensed down into 20 pages.
Reviewed in the United States on July 21, 2026 by Joyce M.
    • Evidence based & insightful!
Format: Audiobook
Wonderful book! It’s evidence-based from start to finish, weaves in numerous stories from the lives of the author, his family, friends, and popular culture, and helps you see your decision making in social situations a little differently. It’s a book you can both learn from and act on. Highly recommend! ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on July 6, 2026 by anon
    • It’s as easy as saying, “Hello!”
Format: Kindle
Nick Epley beautifully describes how easily you can use social connection to significantly add more happiness and well-being to your life. His real person examples inspire actions you can start doing even before you’ve finished reading the book. But don’t stop until the end when he shares the steps to make your actions good habits. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on June 14, 2026 by Serial Connector

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