The Heroin Diaries: Ten Year Anniversary Edition: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star
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A brutally honest rock memoir, The Heroin Diaries chronicles Mötley Crüe bassist Nikki Sixx’s descent into heroin addiction and his harrowing fight for recovery at the height of fame. When Mötley Crüe was at the height of its fame, there wasn’t any drug Nikki Sixx wouldn’t do. He spent days—sometimes alone, sometimes with other addicts, friends, and lovers—in a coke- and heroin-fueled daze. The highs were high, and Nikki’s journal entries reveal some euphoria and joy. But the lows were lower, often ending with Nikki in his closet, surrounded by drug paraphernalia and wrapped in paranoid delusions. Here, Nikki shares the diary entries—some poetic, some scatterbrained, some bizarre—of those dark times. Joining him are Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, Mick Mars, Slash, Rick Nielsen, Bob Rock, and a host of ex-managers, ex-lovers, and more. Brutally honest, utterly riveting, and surprisingly moving, The Heroin Diaries follows Nikki during the year he plunged to rock bottom—and his courageous decision to pick himself up and start living again. Read more
Publisher : MTV Books
Publication date : October 24, 2017
Edition : Anniversary
Language : English
Print length : 512 pages
ISBN-10 : 1501187546
ISBN-13 : 44
Item Weight : 1.55 pounds
Dimensions : 6.13 x 1 x 8 inches
Best Sellers Rank: #54,867 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #32 in Pop Culture Art #100 in Rock Music (Books) #119 in Rock Band Biographies
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Top Amazon Reviews
Format: Hardcover
In 1987 Motley Crue recorded Girls, Girls, Girls, toured with the then unknown Guns 'n Roses, sold out shows around the country (and world) and partied like they always had a day left to live. The previous book to tell the tale of this excess, The Dirt, felt more like a glorification of the excesses of the band, even though it addressed all the drug abuse Nikki Sixx subjected himself to, subsequent overdoses that almost killed him and reemergence towards a cleaner lifestyle. Basically, you take those chapters of The Dirt and make them their own book and you have The Heroin Diaries. The book is set up like a diary. In fact, it is a diary: the book accounts the year (Christmas 1986 to Christmas 1987) that Nikki spiraled down a deep hole of addiction and depression and kept insanely careful track of it in a notebook. In addition to his entries (cleaned up a bit so we can understand them), Nikki includes commentary from himself as well as those who were close to him at the time (it's clear that a lot of care and work was undertaken to get all of these voices lined up to tell this story). I'm reminded of one entry where Nikki says in passing that he had a blast at a radio interview the other night, but probably got the DJ fired. The commentary afterwards is the DJ's account of the debauchery that went down that night (and, yes, he did indeed get fired). Nikki doesn't pull any punches and asked all of his contributors to do the same. They are brutally honest and help paint a magnificent picture of what it is like to find yourself on a speeding train charging forward into a brick wall. If you ever wanted to know what the rock and roll lifestyle was like, or what it feels like to be addicted to drugs, this is the memoir for you. It's actually amazing to me that there could possibly have been any lucid entries. We assume of course that a number of them were cleaned up by the editor, but there are times when you are stunned at Sixx's foresight into the future of the industry (the eventual downfall of the hair metal genre by the flood of copycat bands), the future of the band (that they'd make their next record a #1 album) and even his own dim foreboding of the consequences of his lifestyle. He talks to the diary as if it were a person, as if it were his wife and only confidant in the world during that year (and it probably was). He addresses it with things like, "I have to go to the show now, but I'll see you when I get back tonight." When he departs without an entry for several days (sometimes simply because he is sober and sane) he is always apologetic and makes jokes about how he only writes to it when he is on drugs. The book pages are broken up with scribblings, notes that presumably came out of the original dairy (To Do lists, lost lyric ideas, notes and the like), drug abuse inspired art and photographs of the people and places addressed, as well as song lyrics from a whole career of Sixx's songwriting. There are Motley Crue songs, songs from his 58 solo album, and songs from bands Nikki has adored in his life and reflect his lifestyle then and now. Each chapter is a month in the year, with an introduction, intermission and afterward included to set us up, take a break to reflect and plow forward into the future. The afterward in particular is interesting, because in it Sixx explains what happened in his life after that year: getting on and off the drugs, his failed marriages, his struggling band, his solo projects; everything (he calls it his Life After Death). It goes up to and beyond everything covered in The Dirt, and answers a number of niggling questions leftover from that book, like what was going on during the Girls Tour, what did some of the people mentioned in that book think about things discussed (Slash talking about his interactions with Nikki back then and his own struggling band and drug addictions), or whatever had become of certain events (like all that drama with Vanity). I found myself taking the ups (yes, there were good days) and downs along with Nikki on his ride of drug use, paranoia, rage, attempts at detox, thrills and pitfalls of touring, women, joys of songwriting and love of music, falling off the wagon, struggling on, wondering if he was killing himself, hoping for a way out, dying and coming back to life. I found myself reading an entry, wondering a question about it, and having it answered by the commentary. I also found myself wondering if the now clean and sober Vanity, turned Evangelist, is really any less insane than she was back then. Sure the drugs are gone, but the woman seems like she has a few permanent screws loose (there's one entry where she rambles on about the devil, leaving you thinking, "huh?," and then there's Nikki's commentary under hers going "Huh?" as well: fantastic!). The book has a message and Nikki Sixx has a hope that by writing this, that by laying his weaknesses bare for the world to see, that maybe that message can get through to people: the tunnel is dark but there is a light at the end, and even though it's probably better if you don't get into that tunnel in the first place, just because you are there doesn't mean there is no hope for you. I'm definitely sold on this book, as I was already sold on the sountrack weeks ago. I highly recommend it to fans of the band, fans of rock and roll, people interested in learning about the dangers of excess and any open-minded and curious individuals in general. It's a good read all around.
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Reviewed in the United States on September 12, 2007 by T. LaPonte
Format: Paperback
The Heroin Diaries is a raw and deeply personal memoir by Nikki Sixx. The book chronicles a year of his life during the height of his addiction while in Mötley Crüe. It’s intense, emotional, and brutally honest, offering insight into both the darkness of addiction and the journey toward recovery. A powerful read that leaves a lasting impact. 📖🎸
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Reviewed in the United States on February 14, 2026 by Bernadette Stevens
Format: Hardcover
Nikki Sixx's story is nothing but fascinating. The style this book was written and the words inside of it felt like I was reading tales from my own journal. No, I never lived as a rock star, nor did I have fame or the things his age and money left him do -- but there's something to be said for the erratic, lucid scribblings of a mad man. I've journaled since I can recall, and these single lines, occasional paragraphs and reasons behind his writings are just as I tend to do myself. There's also something to be said for the unconventional portrayal of one's biography. I no longer possess the attention span to fully follow chapters, paragraphs, and endless stories of someone's entire life. The way this is broken up and frequently changing pace kept my attention and made me appreciate the day to day happenings instead of the standard, "I was born here, went to school here, lost my way, it was crazy, and let my glamourize my downfall" style of most who feel possessed to "write a book" as had now become so common amongst, ooooh, just about everyone. The other thing I really respected in reading this were the tales and accounts of other people in his life. I feel no biography is truly complete until you know how others close to you perceived your life, interactions, and relationships with them. It's one thing to have your own experience, but I feel when something's written merely one-sided from the author's view behind their own skull, you get a lopsided portrayal. It's easy for many to skip accountability and responsibility and inadvertently try to justify all their missteps by simply telling readers why they did what they did or what was going through their mind at the time. It takes a lot of humility and bravery to let others dish about you and let others read the negative things many had to say and share. This book is relatable to many addicts, but also -- I would imagine -- gives a really detailed account of the beast of addiction so many get lost in to those who've never experienced it themselves. I felt it was chronicled so well that someone who's never touched a drug could really see just how things get out of hand so quickly. It wasn't just the fame, the talent, the music that led Nikki to where he ended up .. this story could be anyone's story. And, I feel he made that clear with the very quote even left on the back cover. I am very impressed with this and would recommend it to mostly anyone.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 11, 2010 by kristie.aalyn
First, I have never tried heroin. I was offered it once as a teenager and turned it down flat. I come from a family who has many members who have succumbed to various alcohol and drug addictions. I have lost family members to alcohol, cocaine, heroin, and others. I personally chose not to go down this road. I read this book attempting to possibly gain more insight into my loved ones who did use IV drugs. I got a bit of a better idea. More on me later most of you want a book review. The Heroin Diaries on one hand are very telling stories about drug addiction. Telling us about being strung out and vomiting and having diarrhea at the same time should not come across as glamorous to anyone. On the other hand I would have liked to have seen him really spell out his unique situation a little more. Yes, he actually died and was brought back to life twice. Yes, he did have multiple relapses and talks about how he had to deal with his personal emotional demons before he could STAY Straight. But one of the things he mentions (but not in as much detail as I would like to have seen) is how his rock stardom, and subsequent million dollar finances allowed him to do this. Nikki didn't have to physically steal from his family and friends to get his drugs. He burned through a million dollars in drugs (mostly heroin and cocaine) in one year. I would have loved one entry that stated, "If I wasn't an international rock star I would have lived on the street and stolen from everyone around me. I probably would have ended up dead long before my two failed attempts. I had so many people looking after me I didn't have to be responsible at all. They enabled me, and I had the money to do it. If you think this is glamorous, just think, instead of having the ability to spend a million dollars on drugs in one year, you'll burn every friend and family member you ever once loved. They will never trust you until your clean, and you will end up on the streets soaked in your own urine shooting drugs without anyone at your side dying and wishing you were dead." He did do a little of this with his stories concerning Ratt guitarist Robin Crosby. Robin lost his battle with heroin. Robin got AIDS from sharing needles with vagabond street junkies, and died homeless and broke. From being a millionaire with platinum records to dying homeless without shoes on the streets of Los Angelas. Those are the stories I would have love a little more of. Not all together Nikki's fault. He found a way through the heroin death trap. Many do not. My adopted father lost his brother to heroin that way. I got to watch my dad cry like a baby. I give Nikki a lot of credit for putting this in print to begin with. However, because some of the drug stories are in turn associated with the band "Motley Crue" I feel drug use was occasionally glamorized in the "rock Star" persona. I do feel he did a good job of showing the lonely aspect of drugs, the lying, the nights by yourself, the paranoia. All in all he did a good job. Last but not least I want to tell you about those who don't use drugs, alcohol, or have other addictions but are hurt by them. The little girl who's mother had an addiction and kept getting them evicted from every home they ever had. The anger that stems from that is great, and that little girl grew up to be a nurse but had to work to overcome her childhood. The little boy who watched his mother falling asleep drunk in a bowl of cheerios everyday when he came home from school. He saw the needle fall out of his uncles pocket with a spoon, and didn't understand why his brother had all those "cigarette burns" on his arms that were irregularly shaped (you know track marks). That little boy also grew up, became a nurse, and married the the little girl above. They both chose to go on a different path than the examples they saw growing up. But what they didn't quite understand, and that which would take them years to understand is the impact it had on them. One became angry and had to deal with those issues for years because of her childhood. The other learned to ignore everything as if it didn't exist. Imagine being a nurse a year out of school and getting your first heroin addict. Charge nurse tells you, "Typical infected abscess from injecting." You go in and introduce yourself, and you leave the room like, "What, typical what, that guy is just a normal dude." My coworkers looked at me like I was out of my mind. I had completely shut off seeing addiction in any form as a defense mechanism. Drug addicts around the home were normal when I was growing up. My uncles friend was a chiropractor before he lost his license and family to cocaine addiction. Last I heard, he lost his two new children (because his first wife divorced him and took his first child) he had with his new girlfriend (a heroin addict) because the kids came out addicted. Though he (the former chiropractor) is working at a pawn shop for minimum wage, living in a slum, and trying to avoid the dealers he owed money to. How glamorous is that? Unless your a rock star with a million dollars to spend on smack and blow you'll end up dead and it won't be glamorous.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 15, 2012 by " Anti Microchip "
Format: Hardcover
An Amazing Book!!! Nikki Sixx bares his soul in this Diary. Nikki exposes the devastating toll that his drug and alcohol addictions take on his life and those around him. This book is filled with very graphic depictions of the life of a Rock Star who has it all and hits rock-bottom with his Heroin addiction and severe depression. There are many reviewers who have criticized how sincere Nikki Sixx is in releasing this book and I have to wonder why they are being so hard on Nikki. Releasing this book is a very courageous move on the part of this very famous and talented man. Nikki Sixx could very well have kept all these horror stories to himself but instead he hopes that his story can hopefully help others. In his Introduction he makes it clear why he has written this book. "So why have I decided to publish these insane diaries and show the world just what a f*****-up, strung-out madman I was at the height of my success? Well, it's simple. If one person reads this book and doesn't have to go down the same road as me, it was worth sharing my personal hell with them. I'm also donating profits from this book to help runaway kids at a charity I set up called Running Wild in the Night through Covenant House.... They say to keep what you have, you have to give it away. I believe that.... If life is what you make it, I've made mine great. It took a lot of hard work and if you need to, you can do it too." Nikki Sixx demonstrates his sincere desire to stay in recovery from his addictions; one of the surest ways to help stay on track is to reach out to others and try to help them avoid the route he took. By writing this book to help others Nikki is able to help himself stay strong and stay drug-free. As a celebrity he is able to reach out to so many people and he is using his position and influence in a positive way. It is wonderful that the profits from this book are donated to his charity Running Wild in the Night with Covenant House to help runaway kids! This book is filled with hope and inspiration and can be useful to anyone who is going through a hard time and thinks things will never get better. I highly recommend this book and the Soundtrack of the Heroin Diaries to any Motley Crue fan! Thumbs up to Nikki Sixx for being brave enough to expose his weakness in the hopes of helping others. May Nikki Sixx continue to remain sober, drug-free and free from the burdon of depression.
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Reviewed in the United States on March 19, 2008 by Luv Watching Movies
Format: Paperback
Incredibly good read — I tore through it in just a few days. It’s an eye-opening look at someone you’d think was living their best life, yet was actually spending nights hiding in a closet, strung out on dope. It’s honestly incredible that any of these guys survived. Raw, brutally honest, and deeply vulnerable — Nikki lays bare the true horror of addiction without glamorizing a thing.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 16, 2025 by Brett McNary
This book was flat out AMAZING. If you've ever want a true glimpse into a rockstars life, this is the book to read. If you want a true gritty look to what it's like to be a hard core addict, this is the book to read. If you just like to read, this is the book to read. I remember watching an MTV or VH1 show about drugs and bands and seeing Nikki talk about the fateful night when he died only to come home and immediately shoot up again, waking up with the needle still in his arm. So to read this book and see the road that brought him to that moment and hear it in more detail was really intriguing. Not one point of this book disappointed me. The book itself is a work of art. The design of it paints the picture of a dark time and complements the storyline. It's obvious some serious heart and soul went into every part of this book. Even the paper is quality stuff. What's really amazing about this book is how completely honest everyone is. I really admire not just Nikki for being so open, but everyone involved. I love how the entries from Nikki have additions of others who were there alongside him at that moment. Not just Tommy, Mick and Vince but other artists like Slash or his mgmt team/family. The Vanity ones are way out there...although I like the one where Niiki adds a "huh?" afterwards. Nice! But everyone is so brutally honest about what was happening then, not just to Nikki but their own involvement and doings. And Nikki really let his emotions and true feelings be seen for what they are. Even when he was a junkie at his worst, I found myself really admiring him for not lying to himself. He is not a man of excuses. I started high school to Shout at the Devil and Crue was my first "metal love" musically. Their Decade to Decadence greatest hits CD is one of my all time fave metal CDs. This book is set Dec 86 to Dec 87 which was my senior year. It was really cool to think back as to what I remember going on in my life and thinking "wow...this is when this was going on". I saw them in 2005 and I'm really glad I did. Just like I'm really glad I found this book.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2010 by D. Rothmeyer
I just finished reading The Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx. The Heroin Diaries is a journal he kept in 1987 as he descended into the hellish abyss of addiction as he and his band, Motley Crue, toured the country. I saw them in Biloxi, MS of that year. It was interesting to see what was going on in his head the very day that I saw them perform. It was also the day that they made the cover of Rolling Stone only to be disrespected with this headline: "Heavy Metal: It's Loud, It's Ugly, It Won't Go Away." Yeah, I admit it: in the eighties I was a teenage headbanger with a mullet haircut and wore black, heavy metal concert T-shirts and blue jeans. Every square inch of my bedroom walls was covered with pictures of Nikki Sixx and his cohorts. The fact that he was one of my biggest idols (I even had a dog named Nikki) was a heroin junkie should have foretold my own descent into junkie-dom. But I must admit that Nikki's decadence was a lot more glamorous than my own. It sounds as if he flushed more drugs down the toilet out of paranoia that year than I ingested in all of my twenty year using career. And it just goes to show that drug addiction affects the poor differently than the rich. When the withdrawals started, all he had to do was pick up the phone. He never woke up wondering where he was going to get enough money to help him make it through the day without getting sick. This journal-type memoir is better than the typical addiction memoir, because no matter how committed to honesty the memoirist may be, memories distort and degrade through the years. But with the Heroin Diaries, you see addiction in real-time, day-by-day as it's happening. And you can see that Sixx was clearly happier on the days when he managed to clean up. When he was strung out, he wrote the words I've uttered to myself so many times during my addiction: "People don't make sense to me...I have no comfort zone. I don't know how to live. I feel like an alien." Written by David Allan Reeves Author of "Running Away From Me"
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Reviewed in the United States on April 9, 2012 by Barbara S. Reeves