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Fi: A Memoir of My Son

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Description

2025 PULITZER PRIZE FINALIST FOR MEMOIRFrom the award-winning New York Times- bestselling author of Don’t Let’s Go To The Dogs Tonight, Alexandra Fuller, comes a career defining memoir about grieving the sudden loss of her twenty- one-year-old child “An elegiac meditation on motherhood and grief, written from the rage and pain of losing a child, but in a voice that ultimately resonates with beauty and hard-won acceptance.”—Pulitzer Prize jury“A mesmeric celebration of a boy who died too soon, a mother’s love and her resilience. It will help others surviving loss — surviving life.”—David Sheff, New York Times “Fair to say, I was in a ribald state the summer before my fiftieth birthday.” And so begins Alexandra Fuller’s open, vivid new memoir, Fi. It’s midsummer in Wyoming and Alexandra is barely hanging on. Grieving her father and pining for her home country of Zimbabwe, reeling from a midlife breakup, freshly sober and piecing her way uncertainly through a volatile new relationship with a younger woman, Alexandra vows to get herself back on even keel.And then – suddenly and incomprehensibly - her son Fi, at 21 years old, dies in his sleep.No stranger to loss - young siblings, a parent, a home country - Alexandra is nonetheless leveled. At the same time, she is painfully aware that she cannot succumb and abandon her two surviving daughters as her mother before her had done. From a sheep wagon deep in the mountains of Wyoming to a grief sanctuary in New Mexico to a silent meditation retreat in Alberta, Canada, Alexandra journeys up and down the spine of the Rocky Mountains in an attempt to find how to grieve herself whole. There is no answer, and there are countless answers – in poetry, in rituals and routines, in nature and in the indigenous wisdom she absorbed as a child in Zimbabwe. By turns disarming, devastating and unexpectedly, blessedly funny, Alexandra recounts the wild medicine of painstakingly grieving a child in a culture that has no instructions for it. Read more

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Grove Press


Publication date ‏ : ‎ April 9, 2024


Language ‏ : ‎ English


Print length ‏ : ‎ 272 pages


ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0802161049


ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 48


Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12.8 ounces


Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 1 x 8.5 inches


Best Sellers Rank: #571,973 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #848 in Grief & Bereavement #3,168 in Women's Biographies #9,244 in Memoirs (Books)


#848 in Grief & Bereavement:


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If you place your order now, the estimated arrival date for this product is: Thursday, Jun 18

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Top Amazon Reviews


  • Alexandra is a GREAT writer (I really mean it)
Format: Hardcover
If you have ever experienced loss, this is an important book to read. Especially so, as it is wonderfully written and cuts deeply into the rawness of great loss. This woman can write! I have purchased several copies; it is that good...
Reviewed in the United States on December 24, 2025 by Moonmadman

  • A clear view of the writers grief
Format: Kindle
This book is quite interesting. It starts with her minority in Africa then on to her terrible grief losing her son. She shares the desolation of this grief with her two daughters and some unusual friends.
Reviewed in the United States on December 31, 2024 by Barbara

  • Enchanting!
Format: Kindle
A profound, moving, and at the same time unsettling work – gripping and compelling, yet carried by a gentle tenderness. In Fi, Alexandra Fuller captures life in all its fragility and strength, weaving a text that, even in the midst of deep grief, is filled with vitality and beauty.
Reviewed in the United States on August 18, 2025 by fannyzerlina

  • Did Ms. Fuller get it right?
Format: Hardcover
First, Alexandra Fuller is brilliant. (Watch her book talks at the Politics and Prose Bookstore on You Tube). Her 4 book memoir series, Beginning with "Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight" I consider as one tome. They are in my top 3 favorite books. So, did Ms. Fuller accomplish what she wanted to do in "Fi"? . This book of often staccato like thoughts, words and expressions, often seemingly disjointed, may have captured the pain of Ms. Fuller's loss. But I question whether anyone can actually do that. I can imagine her laboring over ever word, laboring over every letter in fact. I wonder if Ms. Fuller is satisfied that she put her grief into words successfully. She did for me. If anyone is even capable of doing such a thing, I think this book came as close as possible. Anything she may have missed must be put into place by the reader's own experience with their grief. Another remarkable book by a remarkable woman. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on July 16, 2024 by Don Meyers

  • Just ok
Format: Paperback
Not as deep as I’d hoped and too much Jesus.
Reviewed in the United States on August 6, 2025 by William

  • Heartwrenching
Format: Hardcover
There is no word for a person who has lost a child, even one fully grown to adulthood. They are still your child. There is the term widow, widower, but no term exists in English for that reversal of nature when a parent outlives a child. Grief takes over, and the memory of that person who a parent has known since before birth haunt and flood, and all aspects of that person recur. When Alexandra Fuller's son, aged 21, dies in his sleep, she and the entire family is encompassed by grief. Gifted with a poet's soul, she adds to her memoirs with this depiction of grief, shattering and redemptive at the same time. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on April 15, 2024 by KasaC

  • Touching and insightful essay on grief
Format: Kindle
Touching and insightful essay on grief. Written from personal and heartfelt perspective by an author who writes everything that way
Reviewed in the United States on August 7, 2025 by Amazon Customer

  • Incredible writing
Format: Hardcover
The first chapters or so I felt as if I couldn't catch my breath, the pace was so fast and electric. But I settled in, rappelled into her grief at her invitation, and found so much to connect with. I will always want to know how others have dealt with the loss of a child, not as instruction--it's impossible, I've come to realize, because that pain is so particular and individualized--but to know someone else made it out alive too, and to cheer them on, and be grateful for telling their story as I someday will. This author created a beautiful tribute to her son and I'm glad to have read it. Not to mention, this woman can WRITE. Highly recommend. ... show more
Reviewed in the United States on June 11, 2024 by Emma Scott

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